Intimidating Senryu.

Goldfinch60



Obscure senryus

Call on the depths of the mind,

Intimidating.

  • Author: Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 19th, 2019 02:14
  • Comment from author about the poem: Just something to think about. I write many haiku and senryu but do not publish many of them but here is one for you all.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 30
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Comments +

Comments8

  • Nicholas Browning

    The word "Senryu" makes me think of samurai.
    So, yes it is intimidating.
    So little words accompanied by such a grand message.
    Writing is the best I tell you.
    You should post more of them, because I liked this one - As I'm sure others will.

    • Goldfinch60

      Thank you for your kind words Nicholas.
      I am quite strict about senryu and haiku; both are 5-7-5 but haiku are about seasons and nature while senryu are about emotions.
      I occasionally write ones which are neither and I call them goldyku.

    • Michael Edwards

      Me too - I love this form and this is a great example - so more please.

      • Goldfinch60

        Thank you Michael. On another poetry site where Orchi and I came from there was a lady who swore that she thought in 5-7-5 all the time.

        • Michael Edwards

          It can get you like that - I find I'm doing it when reading an interesting passage in a book or listening to an in depth conversation.

        • orchidee

          A good write Gold. Yes - too much thinking them out is intimidating, and dangerous?! lol. And what depths of mind? The 'pool' of my mind is about 2cms deep. heehee.

          • Goldfinch60

            Thanks Orchi, yes thinking is bad for you.

          • Fay Slimm.

            Love the genius of Pererson and yes his playing is quite intimidating when trying to learn his instrument - a great sound which can never be bettered and enjoyed your senryus too.

            • Goldfinch60

              So do I have seen him live and he was wonderful.

            • ANGELA & BRIAN

              Thanks UNCLE ANDY ~ Love OSCAR thanks for sharing & caring ! As far as SENRYU are concerned ~ their function is to be obscure and enigmatic ~ HAIKU ~ on the otherhand are penned to ENLIGHTEN !
              Blessings in the SPIRIT to YOU BOTH !
              Brian & Angela 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

              • Goldfinch60

                Sorry Brian I have to disagree, haiku show seasons and nature senryu show emotions.

                • ANGELA & BRIAN

                  Thanks UNCLE ANDY ~ That deliniation is very true ~ but often ignored on MPS ! My comment was a bit tongue in cheek ! I am an Environmental Scientist so I see enlightnment in every HAIKU because Nature is visible & tangible ! Emotions on the otherhand are transient & ephemeral ~ hence SENRYU can (sometimes) be obscure and enigmatic !

                  Each day I saw HER
                  we worked in the same Bio Lab
                  Did I reach HER HEART ?

                  Love to YOU & JOYCE
                  BRIAN 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

                  • Goldfinch60

                    Thanks Brian

                    Her beautiful smile
                    Lit up the world around her
                    But from a distance

                  • Suresh

                    "Senryu" poetic expression
                    Mind baring its innermost emotions, unfiltered, in judgement by all - yes quite intimidating
                    A few words, but very engaging

                    • Goldfinch60

                      Thank you Suresh, most kind.

                    • MendedFences27

                      A Senryu for those who have attempted this form. It can be "Intimidating." But you have mastered it. Thanks for posting, but more please. - Phil A

                      • Goldfinch60

                        Thank you Phil, I have been writing them for quite some time but rarely publish them.

                      • Neville

                        interesting isn't it.. I have often thought that many of the Japanese poetry forms but including the more common senryu and haiku in their purest form are deliberately meant to confound and confuse the western eye.. however, having made something of a study of them for a good many years, there is almost always an intrinsic beauty if one cares to look for it... I enjoyed yours today.... N

                        • Goldfinch60

                          Thank you Neville, the 5-7-5s intrigue me and I have written quite a few but no published many of them.

                          • Neville

                            I know what you mean my friend...



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