Faithless.

Goldfinch60



I was always there,

Always at the Services,

The Services for Easter.

Maundy Thursday for the Last Supper,

Good Friday for the Crucifixion,

Easter Day for the Resurrection.

But my Faith has gone,

Why should I believe,

Believe in the God of Love

When my loved one is so ill.

Her dementia has taken her,

Taken her from me,

Taken her into a world of her own.

I have prayed,

She has prayed,

But she just gets worse.

Where are you God,

Are you just a myth,

A myth to control people,

People called Christians.

 

Are you there God!!!

“No answer!!”

Came the stern reply!

 

  • Author: Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: April 19th, 2019 01:33
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 44
  • User favorite of this poem: Poetic Dan.
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Comments11

  • Michael Edwards

    A cry from the heart - I do hope you find your God again to give you the comfort you both deserve.

    • Goldfinch60

      Thank you Michael, I know that my God (My Spirit) is always with me it is the Christian idea that I am doubting.

    • Neville

      They say faith can move a mountain, these words near moved me to tears

      Neville

      • Goldfinch60

        Thank you for your kind feelings Neville, much appreciated.

      • orchidee

        I can understand this gold. I fuss about 'outward' things. Sometimes I decide on that, to go to church or not - too cold; too rainy; etc.
        But it's more than that really. Then there's me about to write a poem on oils, healing, etc.
        In one of the darkest Psalms (88) the Psalmist cries out to God. Hardly a glimmer of praise in it. It seems he is about to die too. Yet I read in a commentary that he still holds on to God.....somehow.

        • Goldfinch60

          Thanks Orchi, it is the Christian idea of Faith that I am struggling with.

        • orchidee

          A bit more... Even Jesus (I may forget it at times) said 'My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?' A mystery.

        • Laura🌻

          Andy,

          I’ve been reading your daily postings. I can almost feel the pain you feel! It is during those painful times that the faithful question their God! They feel forsaken by Him! I know your belief is strong and irrefutable! As my dad would say, “Now is the time to be the strongest you have ever been!” I never questioned his belief in his God because it comforted him and kept him strong till the end! Early one morning we found his lifeless body in his favorite chair...with a smile on his face! That is what I remember the most about his death...his smile! Whenever I think of him (every single day), I see his smile...and that makes me happy! I no longer think of his suffering! He endured it and never questioned it because of his faith!

          Stay strong!

          My love to Joyce and to you!

          ~Laura~

          • Goldfinch60

            I know that My Spirit is there for me, it is the Christian idea of Faith that I am questioning, maybe it will return but it needs to prove something to me.

          • Fay Slimm.

            Your pain and frustration are palpable dear Goldy - my heart goes out to you both - - stay strong dear friend and the answers will be given one day.

            • Goldfinch60

              Thank you my dear friend, the people on this site have been far more supportive than the Minister at our Church, I thank you all most dearly.

            • ANGELA & BRIAN

              Ohhhhhh UNCLE ANDY : Your post this morning made me cry for You & Joyce. Im posting on GOOD FRIDAY becaus BRIAN is on his way to be with me for a fortnight. MY FAITH is very very strong : as is BRIANS : and it has sustained us during our separation for eight MONTHS. We pray for you and JOYCE 24/7 ! You haven't lost your FAITH ANDY : Its just on HOLD because of the sad situation you face day-by-day ! Your beloved JOYCE with you in BODY but not in MIND : aweful. Your stoicism through it all ANDY : has been an inspiration to both BRIAN & I should either of us lose our mental faculties. I support HEADWAY and I know that BRIANcould have an accident on his Bicycle and lose his mind and nothing I could do could restore it : it frightens me !
              Blessings & Love to YOU & JOYCE : AMEN
              Love in the SPIRIT : Angela & Brian 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

              • Goldfinch60

                I remain strong the Faith in My Spirit (God) has not changed it is the Christian way of approaching God that has bemused me.
                Thank you for your wonderful support.

                • Goldfinch60

                  I remain strong the Faith in My Spirit (God) has not changed it is the Christian way of approaching God that has bemused me.
                  Thank you for your wonderful support.

                • dusk arising

                  This God hasn't spoken to anyone i know Goldfinch.
                  It is a myth created by mankind and surrounded by pathetic excuses when we ask 'why' about some terrible disaster in our lifes.
                  Cleverly the 'fear of god' is instilled in us as children so that the various 'churches' have a power over us.
                  Anyway, if i am totally wrong then ask yourself this. Is an omnipotent god capable of doing everything but doesn't EVER come up with the goods really worth worshiping?

                  • Goldfinch60

                    Your judgement is so true d a, it is the way the Christian Faith approaches God. I know that My Spirit is there but it is MY Spirit which will be always with me, that is a belief which I know. It is the Christian belief that God will help us. I have been a Chaplain to the Sea Cadets and have come up with all the glib answers so my belief was strong at that time but now my doubts have come to the fore and will need a great deal of proof to dissuade of that lack of belief.

                    • dusk arising

                      Much like you Goldfinch I have a faith in a spiritual presence which transcends our earthly existence. You could call that my god or set of gods if you like. But i cannot believe in the mythical god which the christian churches portray. Nor can i accept the ways those churches continue to ply mistruths. Many of the stories, values and basics we were taught as children have been proven to be untrue and the proof is accepted by theologians. Yet those mistruths continue to be the basics of christianity and is still taught without hesitation. How credible is that?

                    • Poetic Dan

                      Wow this was powerful stuff your words have been heard by many gods, as in my view that's what we are.
                      With that in mind as a tear runs down my face, I hope her mind finds some comfort in your inspirational bravery.

                      Thank you for sharing
                      Much peace and respect

                      • Goldfinch60

                        Thank you so much for your kind words Dan, we will move on together no matter how bad her mond gets. We can still laugh at and with each other.

                      • Suresh

                        I'm going to say something that going to come across as callous, but maybe, just maybe it will give you a different perspective

                        Rebirths - tells us that the soul/person will be born again

                        Destiny - our present existence is the effect of our previous actions, as our reactions today are the cause of our future

                        Heaven or Hell - there is no celestial heaven, or a fiery pit of hell, it is the life we are living, and the longevity is the sentence

                        If we accept these definitions, it will give us the courage to face our present.

                        BUT THESE DO NOTHING TO REMOVE OUR CURRENT PAIN, WHICH MAKES US QUESTION EVERYTHING.

                        If my wishes could comfort or cure, you have them in abundance

                        • Goldfinch60

                          Your words are so very true Suresh, they are not callous.
                          My absolute belief is that My Spirit is part of me and goes on for ever, this brief moment on earth is just a blink of an eye in my life.
                          What I have now come to terms with is the way the Christian religion is not true, this may be the same for many religions. I have been in the Christian religion all my life I even served in it as a Chaplain so the misguided belief was there at one point, but no longer.

                          Thank you for you response, much appreciated.

                          • Suresh

                            There are many a times when I wonder what had I done to deserve such misery, but then I console myself by reminding myself that these are the results of my past lives and nothing to do with my present actions.
                            As such, I remind myself to ensure that my present actions or reactions don't become the cause of future misery.
                            It's not easy and I know I lose it most of the time, but I do try.
                            I have come to believe that death is nothing to fear, for it is only the beginning.

                            Please excuse me for taking such liberty

                          • moordykspot2

                            I can fully understand your heart wrenching Words my Friend Rightly of wrongly I lost my Faith when my sister was taken from me aged just 22 years. You wonder why and there is No Answer. Take Care

                            • Goldfinch60

                              Thank you Moordy, sorry to hear about your sister.
                              You are right there is no answer to what is happening.



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