Cold Under The Coat

Neville

Cold Under The Coat

 

Oh my love

How I must have changed

Since we last failed

And so deliciously

 

You never faltered though

Or paused or turned

For one final

Backward glance did you

 

Nor did you drop one of your

Elegant gloves as we passed

In the second hand book store

I know because I checked

 

I checked the next day too

And despite it being summer

And with mercury still climbing

I recall a distinct chill

 

It was the moment the hem of your

Dress brushed past my knee

Yes it was then I promised myself

Another beard come winter

 

You may laugh but I have considered

Taking up walking with my mandolin 

Or a meerschaum pipe maybe

Perhaps you would notice me then

 

Although I trust my self less 

With you these days than I once did

With nicotine

Which took some quitting too

 

I kept the old green corduroy coat

By the way but only ever wear it now

In the garden and on special occasions

Because you once liked it

 

And because

It still smells of you

At least I think its you

It could be no one else for sure

 

Oh my love

How we have both changed

Since failing

And so completely

 

 

  • Author: Neville (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 29th, 2019 01:29
  • Comment from author about the poem: Bring it on, dont be shy....
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 37
  • Users favorite of this poem: Michael Edwards
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Comments +

Comments8

  • orchidee

    A fine write Neville. Did she 'get her coat' , as they say, cos she overstayed her welcome, as in "I'll get my coat"?

    • Neville

      maybe ... but what matters most is that you have graced this page with your glowing presence & for which I thank you....my coat by the way was corduroy .. but I am looking for one made from eh hem dare I say it... guinea pig ...

      • orchidee

        Thanks N. Argghh, woof ,woof. Fido gone into a frenzy - guinea pig coat! oohh.

      • Goldfinch60

        Wonderful write Neville. Those times past with the lady of your life are always so special.

        I used to smoke a Meerschaum pipe many years ago.

        • Neville

          Bless ya GF60 sir... many thanks indeed.. I do have a very old bowl backed mandolin I play occasionally.... Never had a Meerschaum pipe tho....

        • Michael Edwards

          Never had a mandolin nor a meerschaum pipe but I do have a bowler hat. In all seriousness this is one hell of a write - one of the few here on MPS which I could read again and again - in fact I'll keep it as a fav.

          • Neville

            Hey Michael.. how cool is that.... many big thank you's from me to you sir... and welcome back.. N

          • Fay Slimm.

            A garment and its smell can have such a permanent significance and the coat your verse mentions can bring back many memories. The hint of pathos makes this read special as does the tenderness expressed in each line and oh those few final words.............. Fay

            • Neville

              Bless ya Fay and true... many thanks indeed my friend... N

            • Christina8

              This is one heck of a write! There are spots of sensuality in it that I did not miss--and that you kept your corduroy coat all these years.....And I really like the last stanza. Haven't we all failed at love? It's great.

              • Neville

                Sending one heck of a thank you in your direction and yes.. I guess we all have some time or another..... Neville

                • Christina8

                  You are most welcome!--C

                • Suresh

                  SHE walked away-

                  thus the reason for these memories that your heart still yearn

                  a poetic rendition, that I still silently sing

                  • Neville

                    Yep the one that got away... thankfully they are but words.. and thanks for calling on them today my friend..... Neville

                  • MendedFences27

                    Here it comes! No, seriously. I thoroughly enjoyed this. We've all been there, when the girl of your dreams spurns you or becomes not what you dreamed of. It makes a great tale to watch the romance develope and then "fail."
                    Okay, here's a bit for you- Drop the "and" in the last line of the first and last stanzas. It leaves the reader waiting and then realizing "Oh, that's it." Without it the poem flows more freely. If you want a pause with no expectation of further development, maybe a few ellipses would do. also in Stanza 6 Maybe change "have" to "had" for you are reflecting on past times.
                    Seems "we have both changed" is the answer to why such things happen. In days or weeks or years that changing can occur. I've seen couples split in both short or extensive time frames.This poem conveys the feelings of both parties, one chilly, the other left longing. Beneath the coat lies a broken heart would be my guess. - Phil A.

                    • Neville

                      Thank you for taking the time to consider these words of mine Phil they are indeed appreciated ...

                      Neville

                    • dusk arising

                      Outstanding Neville! This is you at your very best. There is so much here that i really like and admire so much. Such a wonderful read. A story of glorious emotion carried across years of acceptance and knowing. The love of what once was and couldn't continue, yet it lingers and has become a distant and unconditional emotion which is love itself.

                      • Neville

                        You really are far too kind DA, nevertheless, as always your opinion is both welcome and truly appreciated, and for those reasons, I most grateful to you my friend....... Neville



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