In it came some years ago,
‘Health and Safety’ became relevant,
All for the protection
Of us poor ignorant souls.
We didn’t know what was safe,
Or what was dangerous
So how had we existed,
Existed for millennia
Without ‘Health and Safety’ to warn us.
Perhaps we didn’t exist,
Perhaps we were all dead!
Some rules were important,
Some were just plain stupid.
The one I thought was worse
Was the one I saw years ago,
I bought a tin of peanuts
And there on the tin,
It said “May contain nuts”,
I would hope so
As that is what I bought.
But today I found another,
There I was at the fish counter
To buy some fish for dinner,
There was salmon and trout,
Cod and haddock,
Monkfish and hake.
Then I spotted the one ,
The one I wanted,
A tuna steak had called to me.
As it was being wrapped
I looked at the labels ,
And there in front of every fish
Was a label
Saying what it was ,
And how much it cost.
And there I saw it,
Every label
In front of the fish
On the fish counter
Said “May contain fish”.
-
Author:
Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 4th, 2019 01:34
- Comment from author about the poem: The video has nothing to do with the poem but I came across it on YouTube and I can remember seeing this many years ago.
- Category: Surrealist
- Views: 23
Offline)
Comments7
Oohh, did it contain nuts, or fish? Maybe not, as it said 'MAY contain.....'?! Best to be sure about these things. lol.
I run a whisky-making factory. The labels say 'may contain water'. Actually, they do contain 95% water! heehee.
Yes they my contain water but sufficient without you needing to put any more in it.
There was a fun column in a paper, entitled 'DBO' - 'Department of the B******* Obvious!' (rhymes with 'seeding').
So many things are B****** obvious, we are nowadays looked upon as being completely ignorant.
Loved this one. Had an experience at a dinner in our village hall recently. Digressing a bit but we started stacking the tables onto the trolleys as I've been doing for over 10 years. . There are two types of tables and each have their own trolley BUT any table fits any trolley - the important thing is to put them away at the end of the function. I was putting them on the trolleys when someone came to me and very officiously told me I was doing it wrong and it really matters to get them right as they were designed to hold specific tables. I'm afraid I responded by saying it really doesn't matter unless you suffer from OCD. A real jobs-worth.
Well said Michael. I know it is probably against your good nature but the other way would have been to walk away and tell him to do the job himself. Some people just do not do the jobs but just criticize others.
Funny old world and infuriating at times.....
I know exactly where you are coming from with this my friend
..................................... N 🙂
Thank you Neville, nowt so queer as folk.
Thanks for sharing UNCLE ANDY - Angela here ! Loved the Pavoroti Clip very droll ! Brian is a very ample Man - Well proportioned and I like that in a MAN ! Loved the POEM and I agree we have gone H & S Mad. Things are a bit more normal in NZ. When I am massaging I need my bare hand because the Patients Texture speaks to my Fingers - Plastic gloves have NO TOUCH SENSORS ! When I was doing Biochemical Lab Work - There was a 10 page H & S document on H2O ! C'est La Vie d'H & S !
Blessings & Peace to YOU & JOYCE
Love ANGELA & BRIAN 🧡💙🧡💙🧡
Thank you Angela, yes H & S has its moments of madness.
And on the side of a bus it said "may contain people".
But the funniest one i heard about was - at the top of an Irish ladder it says "stop".
HASAWA health and safety at work act. I once declined the opportunity to employ an apprentice after he told me his dad was a health and safety inspector and thats true.
Thanks d a, it is so strange sometimes where people do not think that we can see for ourselves where there may be danger.
I know. It's about as bright as listing the nutritional contents on a bottle of water. They think we're stupid.
They surely do Christina.
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