Black Bile

There is a sadness that is growing deep inside of me.

Melancholy

There’s a dam wrapping around my heart

I cannot release the stream of emotion flowing through my vessels

There it sits, clogged in the barricade, with no cracks or room for a leak

There she rises growing and overflowing

Sometimes I feel like stabbing a hole to release the fluid from this cavity

But this is not in my nature

I want to be better, I want to do better

Yet I don’t know how.

At times I try to isolate myself to find what is missing

It’s nothing and everything all at the same time

And now I feel myself drowning

Maybe I lost myself down at the bottom of the ocean, maybe I self destructed in some fatal explosion

This is not a cry for help, just an explanation for my actions

Don’t worry I’m on the path to finding my next distraction