TOLD ONCE
told
once
their tales
in wild dreams
by the breezes borne
across the wild mystic byways
covered there in faery dust their ghost in spectres floats
across the wild mystic byways
by the breezes borne
in wild dreams
their tales
once
told
A FIBs - I didn’t find this one easy – getting it to read both ways was the challenge whilst still observing the syllable count and maintaining meter – it was weeks in the ‘in-box’ and was only completed after many adjustments – and I still think there’s room for improvement.
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Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: January 9th, 2020 02:06
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 30
Offline)
Comments7
Well, I can't improve on it! I would dread doing a hymn-poem like this. Metre all over the place!
Miss Berles will count the syllables!
Go on have a go - Miss Berles won't mind.
Well it reads spot on to me - thanks Michael - intriguing and atmospheric each line and looks so attractive too
Thanks Fay- the most difficult form of Fibs which is only made easier by the use of a personal pronoun in the openning and closing lines.
Hi Michael,
Thanks for this good write.
Keep writing FineB
Cheers FB
Thanks UNCLE MIKE ~ Love the FUNGI ! Love the poem ! You know how much we love FORM~REVERSE POETRY and have published many ~ usually as a DIAMOND or a DIABLO. Quie correctly you have NOT repeated the middle line ! We would have preferred a ONE letter ~ TWO letter ~ THREE letter ~ START & FINISH ~ Which would have resulted in a cooler shape ~ BUT ~ the final three lines (in my suggestion) are a little ORCHIDEEAN !
I DO SAY ONCE ~~~~~ MIDDLE LINE ~~~~~ ONCE SAY DO I
I hope that suggestion makes sense ~ no obligation to use it !
Blessing & Peace & Good MUSE !
Love ANGELA & BRIAN
🧡💙🧡💙🧡
We do appreciate that the FIBONCCI sequence is SYLLABLE LED 1/1/2/3/5/8 AND NOT WORD (letter)LED ! SO IF YOU ARE STICKING WITH A CLASSICAL FIB # Our suggestion is NOT viable. A Reverse FIB does NOT give an elegant shape DIAMOND or DIABLO or HOUR GLASS etc - Like Word (letter led) Reverse Poems do - OK - Love A & B !
Yes I want to stick to strict FIBs but your suggestion for the 8 syllable line makes sense although it doesn't sit well with the 5 syllable lines either side. But I'll give it some thought.
That's clever stuff without doubt.
Took some writing.
Glad to see you're still at it man. I really like this piece.
This is good Michael, I write FIBS and they can be difficult to get together.
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