Michael Edwards

TOLD ONCE

 

 

 

 

TOLD ONCE

 

 

 

told

once

 their tales

in wild dreams

by the breezes borne  

across the wild mystic byways

covered there in faery dust their ghost in spectres floats  

across the wild mystic byways

by the breezes borne

in wild dreams

their tales

once

told

 

 

 

 

A FIBs -  I didn’t find this one easy – getting it to read both ways was the challenge whilst still observing the syllable count and maintaining meter  – it was weeks in the ‘in-box’ and was only completed after many adjustments – and I still think there’s room for improvement.

 

  

Comments8

  • orchidee

    Well, I can't improve on it! I would dread doing a hymn-poem like this. Metre all over the place!
    Miss Berles will count the syllables!

    • Michael Edwards

      Go on have a go - Miss Berles won't mind.

    • Fay Slimm

      Well it reads spot on to me - thanks Michael - intriguing and atmospheric each line and looks so attractive too

      • Michael Edwards

        Thanks Fay- the most difficult form of Fibs which is only made easier by the use of a personal pronoun in the openning and closing lines.

      • FineB

        Hi Michael,

        Thanks for this good write.

        Keep writing FineB

      • ANGELA & BRIAN

        Thanks UNCLE MIKE ~ Love the FUNGI ! Love the poem ! You know how much we love FORM~REVERSE POETRY and have published many ~ usually as a DIAMOND or a DIABLO. Quie correctly you have NOT repeated the middle line ! We would have preferred a ONE letter ~ TWO letter ~ THREE letter ~ START & FINISH ~ Which would have resulted in a cooler shape ~ BUT ~ the final three lines (in my suggestion) are a little ORCHIDEEAN !

        I DO SAY ONCE ~~~~~ MIDDLE LINE ~~~~~ ONCE SAY DO I

        I hope that suggestion makes sense ~ no obligation to use it !

        Blessing & Peace & Good MUSE !
        Love ANGELA & BRIAN
        🧡💙🧡💙🧡

        We do appreciate that the FIBONCCI sequence is SYLLABLE LED 1/1/2/3/5/8 AND NOT WORD (letter)LED ! SO IF YOU ARE STICKING WITH A CLASSICAL FIB # Our suggestion is NOT viable. A Reverse FIB does NOT give an elegant shape DIAMOND or DIABLO or HOUR GLASS etc - Like Word (letter led) Reverse Poems do - OK - Love A & B !

        • Michael Edwards

          Yes I want to stick to strict FIBs but your suggestion for the 8 syllable line makes sense although it doesn't sit well with the 5 syllable lines either side. But I'll give it some thought.

        • dusk arising

          That's clever stuff without doubt.

        • Maxine Smith

          That’s just unbelievable.

          So impressive, already beautiful before even reading a word.

          Even more beautiful once I’ve read, layers of brilliance to this one Michael.

          Writers goals !!

          • Michael Edwards

            You've really made my day with your lovely comment - and made all the effort worth while. Thank you so much dear friend.

          • Nicholas Browning

            Glad to see you're still at it man. I really like this piece.

          • Goldfinch60

            This is good Michael, I write FIBS and they can be difficult to get together.



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