Why hadn't he
told her
about Lisa.
Not a single
word.
A door slammed
somewhere.
Quietly,
she placed
mothers locket
back into
the suitcase.
Mother's eyes,
Lisa has
mother's eyes.
-
Author:
dusk arising (
Offline) - Published: August 21st, 2020 03:02
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 34
Offline)
Comments8
An intriguing write d a.
David Sanborn - yet another musician I am going to have to explore.
Andy
|Most of sanborns work sounds very dated now as he was doing trendy stuff in the pop scene but i believe he has moved into jazz more recently though he once professed not to be good enough for jazz. Clearly he is wrong as this quite early piece shows. In fact, though i haven't heard his recent stuff, this piece is the best i have ever heard from him.... only discovered it the other day too.
this is absolutely perfect DA .. and I aint gonna say any more than that sir..
... yep simply perfect
Neville
It's just one of those little jaunts which leaves you in suspenders and eric morecombe would say.
You and Neville keep meeting these gals. I must meet them too. Or will they be too much for me?! lol.
Look, just get off yer organ stool and take that dawg for walk or two and all the feisty girlies will stop and make 'fido fuss'.... what better way to attract them eh?
Hi DUSK - BRIAN here = Thanks for Sharing ! A cool Sax & an enigmatic Poem !
Love - Joy - Peace
Brian & Angela 💛💛💛
It's teaser isn't it...... i wanted to leave so many possible scenarios open to the reader..... i bet you two each saw something different in it.
Oh what a number and my favourite instrument - thanks too D.A. for Lisa composed in an inventive few words for my reading pleasure today.
A twist for the imagination.... nothing more.... pleased you enjoyed.
enticing with its simplicity,
immersive with its complexity of depth,
brilliantly executed
Yes a little mystery composed by playing with a few words that were lying around..... the beauty of it is all in the reader's head though because you can take it where your mind lets it go.... who or what was Lisa?.... that's kinda what i wanted to leave.
So enigmatic - fine write dusk.
One could write a book or...... just a few lines. Call me lazy.
HI DUSK - A & B here - Yes we both had different views about who Lisa was but Angela & I both agreed that SHE was packing her bag to leave HE because of LISA and also that because SHEs MUM was in a Locket she was probably deceased ? Also - because SHEs MUM had such distinctive EYES SHE assumed LISA was a blood relation ? We are not told the age of LISA which would have helped !
I (BRIAN) assumed HE & SHE were Husband & Wife and that LISA ~ HEs new Lady Friend who has just come on the scene ~ presumably Younger than SHE (They usually are). LISA is (because of the EYES) possibly related to SHEs Mother ~ even though previously SHE has never never met Lisa ~ a niece perhaps. Perhaps Brian didnt know who she was either and had met her at Work or in the Gym or whatever ? The *EYES* are too much for She & She has to pack her bags & LEAVE !
I - Angela - being a WOMAN see a much more intriguing and heart-breaking Scenario. HE & SHE are co-habiting and one Day she discovers a photo of a Young Lady in His Wallet with an inscription *All My Love LISA and seven kisses* Men are such fools HE should have left it @ work! LISA is horrified because looking back at her - from the photo - are her own DEAD MOTHERS EYES - Who is LISA? When She confronts He - He turns Pale and tries to Laugh it off saying *Its Nothing - just a Girl at Work* She hires a Private Detective to look into who actually LISA is. To her added HORROR she discovers LISA is her own SISTER and a Secret Love Child between HE & HER Mother. Shes Mother was divorced when SHE met HE! She resolved to KILL both LISA & HE .......... To be continued!
Which version do you prefer?
Love - Joy & Peace
Angela & Brian 🧡💙
WOW! Thank you both for going the extra mile with this. Before I go any further, it really pleases me that my thoughts on how this short piece would tempt or entice the readers mind to become far more creative than a \'straight\' piece, has actually worked well. My thoughts or hopes were that reader would be unable to resist the temptation to \'become involved\' with the scant information it provides and begin to create a senario in their own mind where the pieces fit together.
I will admit that when i began writing my thoughts were along the lines of Brian\'s interpretation but i soon realised that i began to see more possibilities. However i think top marks for creativity go to Angela because she outdoes my wildest imaginations with her interpretation. Wow what a complex thing the female brain is Brian. A secret love child sister from an affair with her mum.... what a cracker! Now that\'s just too downright devious for a down to earth, meat and two veg, home lovin boy like me to conjour up.
Thank you again..... now, will i write a piece based upon these new revelations or not?
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.