When I look at you .. framed like that

between the Muscat bleu and old mimosa

Perfectly squeezed between

the swimming pool and our tulip tree

I wonder if you ever had a clue

just how much my Ray Bans suited you

Or for that matter,

how much I fucking loved you either..

No, of course not .. and now, there is no need

or reason to pretend otherwise ...

  • Author: Neville (Offline Offline)
  • Published: October 1st, 2020 00:47
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views:


  • Goldfinch60

    Such a strong love portrayed in your words Neville.


    • Neville

      sometimes , some words just have to be said .. nothing else quite fits, does it my Friend ... Cheers n truly ....

    • orchidee

      I can't meet her - you're meeting her! lol.

      • Neville

        when two ends meet .. you either gotta hope ya havin a party.. or you are in the write operating theatre ... ... maybe we should have a party ...

      • Fay Slimm.

        Your write so cleverly roused this reader's attention to the past tense you use for the word Love in this poignant poem Nev - showing time gone when present meant even the sight of a lover could induce avid desire......... sad when that passes as the last lines infer.......... another tale told with your special talent for word-painting.

        • Neville

          if prizes could be awarded for astuteness .. my lady Fay would surely be the queen of it .... and of kindness too ...

        • L. B. Mek

          smooth with it - who needs pickup lines, they just don't have a chance once you set your aim, lol
          great job keeping the gloom of heartbreak somewhat light-hearted through your Ray Bans perspective, makes for a poignant yet fun read

          • Neville

            Yes.... I seem to have a thing about Ray Bans dont I ... my oldest pair cracked spontaneously whilst I was wearing them a couple of years ago at the precise moment I leant of a former lovers unexpected passing ..... thanks as always my goodly writing buddy ....

          • Michael Edwards

            Fay say's it so well and love the idea of word-painting which describes your work to a 'T'

            • Neville

              She does have a way with words, doesn't she .. thank you Michael

              ... Neville

            • Dove

              Behind sunlit ray ban Glasses and beautiful curves, is a heart of gold ! I hope she knew

              • Neville

                I think maybe she did .. thank you RB ..

              • MendedFences27

                "No need or reason to pretend," that she knew. Why would she? It is now obvious and out in the open. Perhaps her eyes would have told on her if not covered by a pair of "Ray Bans."
                The passion felt comes through in this poem, in the last two stanzas. The first three set up the powerful ending. They are whimsical observations, to contrast the rougher ending. Sweetness followed by unabridged passion. Thoroughly enjoyed. - Phil A

                • Neville

                  thanks Phil A my friend ... much appreciated as always .... I just heard about the big yella fella and nearly choked on me bagel .... 🙂

                • Lorna

                  Oh she's lucky! Doesn't she know!

                  • Neville

                    I aint letting on .... a gentleman never does apparently .. He does say thank you though .. Thank you tho 🙂

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