REMEMBERED
Her porcelain skin glowed with not a blemish in
sight; not even a tattoo. Her long flowing hair
dusted her shoulders and gently bounced as
she laughed. Her darkest eyes danced in the light
and her joyful spirit shone through. She walked
with a grace bringing joy wherever she went
and she sprinkled our lives with stardust.
In despondancy
Declaration of death sought
A need to move on.
Haibun is a poetry form that combines a haiku with a prose poem. Haibun prose is usually descriptive. It uses sparse, poetic imagery to evoke a sensory impression in the reader. The section of prose is then followed by a haiku that serves to deepen the meaning of the prose, either by intensifying its themes or serving as a juxtaposition to the prose’s content.
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Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: January 9th, 2021 02:03
- Comment from author about the poem: In Haibun format and written in haste so not perfect - I was inspired to have a go at this form following Jerry's excelent posting yesterday.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 34
- Users favorite of this poem: Goldfinch60, Jerry Reynolds, Dove
Offline)
Comments7
That is brilliant Michael and that senryu at the end is so emotive. Another into my favourites.
Andy
Aw thanks Andy - feel honoured that it's gone into your faves.
Aw thanks Andy - feel honoured that it's gone into your faves.
Ahh, a fine poem about Miss Berles, M.
You been in our area? In that fine pic the white building looks like a former Chapel local to me.
There are over 90 villages in the Harborough district and this is one of them - the painting sold a little while back.
Cheers O
You writing about Miss Berles, or one of the other millions of Berles?!
I'll stick with limericks, haibun's far too complex for the likes of me.
So M.E. has wrote us a haibun
it musta been hard to compose one
was he helped by his muse
with a flagon of booze
or forced into it with a shotgun?
Nice one dusk - actually it was with a peashooter.
Michael- this is terrific. Love that watercolor. Do you make any prints of them?
Thank you Jerry and thank you for the inspiration. No I don't do prints for commercial reasons - the cost can be quite high and you need to be sure iof the market to ensure recovery of the initial outlay. Mind you I do sell enough originals to make enough funds to more than recover the costs of my hobby - and you can't say about golf! lol
Your 5-7-5 verse at the end would be described as a senryū in the Japanese tradition. This Wikipedia paragraph says it clearly:
>>Senryū (川柳, literally 'river willow') is a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku... Senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious. Unlike haiku, senryū do not include a kireji (cutting word), and do not generally include a kigo, or season word.
Thanks Robert. Yes I'm aware of the strict interpretation but.as I've said before, I don't worry about adhering to a strict observance of arbitrary rules which can be lost in translation - I would rather have a good piece that doesn't follow the strict rules than an indifferent piece that does.
I added the definition to show where the inspiration came from and must admit I do regret not saying that it was inspired by the Haibun rather than implying that it was.
Interestingly from a trawl on the web I see that many contemporary Haibun writers sometimes use senryu instead of Haiku and the 575 rule seems to be ignored more than it is observed..
That's what I gathered about senryū. About ignoring the 5-7-5 rule: I suppose you mean haibun writers writing in English.
I think the reason I'm interested in following the rules is that I'm interested in foreign languages.
Michael, the heck with all the technical interpretations. I just love your writing! The prose is awesome!
And I couldn't ask for more - after all that's what poetry should be about - enjoying it for what it is - regardless of whether it complies with 'rules' - thank you so much Fred.
Much enjoyed Micheal! Rules were made to be danced upon!
Love your flowery beginning, the remembrance at the end
Sad! Love your painting !
Thanks so much and I'm honoured that you haved faved it - thanks again.
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