REMEMBERED

Michael Edwards

 

REMEMBERED

 

 

Her porcelain skin glowed with not a blemish in

sight; not even a tattoo. Her long flowing hair

dusted her shoulders and gently bounced as

she laughed. Her darkest eyes danced in the light

and her joyful spirit shone through. She walked

with a grace bringing joy wherever she went

and she sprinkled our lives with stardust.

 

In despondancy

Declaration of death sought

A need to move on.

 

 

 

 

Haibun is a poetry form that combines a haiku with a prose poem. Haibun prose is usually descriptive. It uses sparse, poetic imagery to evoke a sensory impression in the reader. The section of prose is then followed by a haiku that serves to deepen the meaning of the prose, either by intensifying its themes or serving as a juxtaposition to the prose’s content.

 

 

  • Author: Michael Edwards (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 9th, 2021 02:03
  • Comment from author about the poem: In Haibun format and written in haste so not perfect - I was inspired to have a go at this form following Jerry's excelent posting yesterday.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 34
  • Users favorite of this poem: Goldfinch60, Jerry Reynolds, Dove.
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Comments7

  • Goldfinch60

    That is brilliant Michael and that senryu at the end is so emotive. Another into my favourites.

    Andy

    • Michael Edwards

      Aw thanks Andy - feel honoured that it's gone into your faves.

      • Michael Edwards

        Aw thanks Andy - feel honoured that it's gone into your faves.

      • orchidee

        Ahh, a fine poem about Miss Berles, M.
        You been in our area? In that fine pic the white building looks like a former Chapel local to me.

        • Michael Edwards

          There are over 90 villages in the Harborough district and this is one of them - the painting sold a little while back.
          Cheers O

          • orchidee

            You writing about Miss Berles, or one of the other millions of Berles?!

          • dusk arising

            I'll stick with limericks, haibun's far too complex for the likes of me.

            So M.E. has wrote us a haibun
            it musta been hard to compose one
            was he helped by his muse
            with a flagon of booze
            or forced into it with a shotgun?

            • Michael Edwards

              Nice one dusk - actually it was with a peashooter.

            • Jerry Reynolds

              Michael- this is terrific. Love that watercolor. Do you make any prints of them?

              • Michael Edwards

                Thank you Jerry and thank you for the inspiration. No I don't do prints for commercial reasons - the cost can be quite high and you need to be sure iof the market to ensure recovery of the initial outlay. Mind you I do sell enough originals to make enough funds to more than recover the costs of my hobby - and you can't say about golf! lol

              • Robert Southwick Richmond

                Your 5-7-5 verse at the end would be described as a senryū in the Japanese tradition. This Wikipedia paragraph says it clearly:

                >>Senryū (川柳, literally 'river willow') is a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku... Senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious. Unlike haiku, senryū do not include a kireji (cutting word), and do not generally include a kigo, or season word.

                • Michael Edwards

                  Thanks Robert. Yes I'm aware of the strict interpretation but.as I've said before, I don't worry about adhering to a strict observance of arbitrary rules which can be lost in translation - I would rather have a good piece that doesn't follow the strict rules than an indifferent piece that does.

                  I added the definition to show where the inspiration came from and must admit I do regret not saying that it was inspired by the Haibun rather than implying that it was.

                  • Michael Edwards

                    Interestingly from a trawl on the web I see that many contemporary Haibun writers sometimes use senryu instead of Haiku and the 575 rule seems to be ignored more than it is observed..

                  • 1 more comment

                  • FredPeyer

                    Michael, the heck with all the technical interpretations. I just love your writing! The prose is awesome!

                    • Michael Edwards

                      And I couldn't ask for more - after all that's what poetry should be about - enjoying it for what it is - regardless of whether it complies with 'rules' - thank you so much Fred.

                    • Dove

                      Much enjoyed Micheal! Rules were made to be danced upon!
                      Love your flowery beginning, the remembrance at the end
                      Sad! Love your painting !

                      • Michael Edwards

                        Thanks so much and I'm honoured that you haved faved it - thanks again.



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