Go ahead and call me crazy
When I look at the clock I feel like it's frozen
Cause I live in my head
its like maze but with no end to go
Sometimes I feel like I'm dead
I'm tired of living, I cry
I hear it's easy to die, I want to see that for myself
I'm scared of death, I'm scared of living
And I know that sounds crazy to everyone else
But fuck I'm depressed and stressed
I Know I'm losing my mind
I feel like I'm out of time
You don't know what it's like living like this
Pretending I'm happy so I can smile like everyone else
Been stuck like this for a while
It's like I've been living in Constance rain
But is just my tears
Why does life hurt so much?
I have to try block out my thoughts so I don’t lose my head
I'm waging wars on myself every hour
Kicking demons in my mind for every little mistake that I had made
I'm sad, insecure and flawed
I'll be as honest as I feel I'm getting more paranoid
I'm so tired of feeling tired I just want to close my eyes
Here come my nightmares, they come out every night
Wish I had answers for the way I felt
I don't do this on purpose, I don't choose to feel this way
It kills me, because I see everyone else happy
I see my family, my friends
They're just so much stronger mentally, than me
Im just cold, depressed and empty inside
If you look into my eyes can you see the happy young girl you knew?.
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Author:
Jodie (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: April 5th, 2021 14:45
- Comment from author about the poem: I havent wrote a peom ln a few years now, but the sad feeling is back, i can't help but i write my feeling out.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 23
Offline)
Comments2
I am sure that happy young girl is still within you Jodie and one day soon I am sure that it will reappear outside your mind.
Andy
I sure hope so, in trying to stay positive even if it doesn't work a lot of the time
our idea's of happiness is somewhat toxic: let that be your final goal, instead dear sister
begin with incremental steps, to that dream 'of anything better'
break down existence to induvial fractions
of breathe, of seconds, of actions: entirely your choice
now try, ever so gently without forcing yourself
by thinking of toxic expectation, instead causally: simply try
to concentrate on that one individual fragment 'you've decided upon'
your life, divided in individual breathes or seconds or actions
again, there is no failure, your may stop and start as much as you like
but somehow, gradually
try linking a few fragments together
and you'll find yourself moving further that you thought
its ok if you falter and restart again and again
what existence asks of you is that you simply: try, my dear
without projecting toxic results or grand goals and aspirations
they can all wait, right now
its just you and those fragments, you're linking one by one
knowing: if you need to
plenty of free help is around to help
and willing to listen: not just hear and forget..
good luck dear poet! thanks for choosing to bravely share and survive
Thanks you so much for your words, it's great to see other people perspective on life and world,
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