I will return early January.
What is the dear lady downstairs up to when she slams her door?
With sudden tiresome intensity it reaches through my floor.
Is she crazy? No idea, but soon it’s going to be me
If there’s no sign of change from her, and there’s none that I can see.
Her movements are high volume during the course of every day-
This has to stop; Where is the solution? I must find a way.
At the residents meeting a proposition should be fine:
Could management check all doors for proper function? is my line.
The old dear appears quite amused and sends me a furtive grin,
Oh I’ve just become aware of the trouble I may be in.
I decide to leave it a while then make a personal plea,
A quiet chat and all is resolved? I have to wait and see.
I’m frustrated with the old baggage as no good comes of that;
For my respectful request seems to encourage the old bat
And the volume of her door action becomes all the greater -
Now what can I possibly do in order to defeat her?
As I habitually retire between twelve and one thirty
This might inject the situation with some reality:
At morning my blankets are folded and stowed during daylight;
Come end of the day my bed is made up very late at night.
I have always managed to complete this with much thought and care;
My bed abuts a wall which happens to be hollow just there.
I do attempt to make silence at that time of night the rule –
But it’s clear the evil witch below wishes to play the fool.
I decide then to cease worry about the noise I might make;
It’s just conceivable that my actions might keep her awake.
Well now, I wonder will she manage to see a connection?
Yes – It took time but she notices my implied suggestion…
-
Author:
Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 2nd, 2021 20:50
- Comment from author about the poem: Not the first time by any means…Previously the dickhead next to me was in the habit of closing his door with a slam. When I mentioned it to him (politely – he was bigger than me :-)) he stated “doesn’t worry me..” He moved shortly after – which was a relief.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 24
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
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Comments6
Sometime neighbours can be so annoying, in my time I have come across them but the ones I have at present are wonderful.
Andy
Good for you, Andy - hang in there, don't be going anywhere.....
Thanks for calling in.
I had no neighbours for eight years .. having just moved, I now have two sets of them .. both pairs are quite lovely ........ I enjoyed todays offering Dave .. .. very muchly
.. Neville
You have much in common with Andy this time (as above), Neville.
Overall I really cannot complain about my neighbours, although I'm not close with the majority. However, they are quiet for the most part, non violent; just one or two have these minor eccentricities, which I have managed to modify as detailed.
Glad it was of some entertainment value.
Good to hear the prob. with door-slams is being sorted Dave - - - - your telling title got me ready for reading more on apartment living and will send you a medal for your patient solution - - extra thanks too
for the story of how to handle close neighbours who can tend to be thoughtless .Hope that bit of late night action will do the trick - -
"There's nowt so thick as folk" as they say around here.
Oh Fay - you mean you have thoughtless thickos in your area too? How sad! When I've been touring in the West Country I've met only kindness and consideration, a credit to you and yours.
Other than thunder and lightning, which I don't mind, loud unexpected bangs have always been very troubling for me, so it felt really good to be able to exert some control over the situation and then write about it.
Thanks for your attention Fay - very much appreciated.
That's the way to do it 😂
Woah oh my, door banging and any neighbour noises can get on my hibby's nerves so i understand your lamenting super fantastic rhyming poem wow! Towards the end she learnt her lesson, how crafty a way to teach her. Kudos!!
Cheers s.z - one does what one can....... 🙂
It seems a universal truth that we all have such a neighbor, thus the saying "fences make for good neighbors." An enjoyable poem entertaining to the end possibly because of the empathy created by such neighbors I have had in the past.
Yeh - city living isn't always what it's cracked up to be - although I wouldn't want to live anywhere else - it's all I really know.
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