The Love Story of Mrs Duckers and Mr Von Sneppick

Saxon Crow

Mrs Duckers was a foul mouthed crone
Everytime she saw you she would swear and moan
All the children teased her until she bit
 Then she would say
"You 'orrid little sh.." 
..e... often walked in Boffington park
Swearing at the sparrows and cursing all the larks
And if she ever saw you it was just bad luck
Because she would always shout "Oi! Off you fu.."
.. nnily enough on the other side of town
Lived Mr Von Sneppick, a pious man
You would never hear him curse or hear him swear
He was a gentle man so full of care
Mr Von Sneppick was madly in love
With old Mrs Duckers and her x rated mouth
But everytime he passed her he always heard 
"Go away Von Sneppick you dirty ba......" 
.... rely a word they spoke or shared
Without Mrs Duckers starting to swear 
But then one day while both alone
Mr Von Sneppick silenced the crone
With a kiss so deep it would make you sigh
And stop all the birds from flying in the sky
When the moment ended
All the town held its breath 
And then Mrs Duckers finally said
"Good grief my dear sweet, sweet man that was so wonderfully unexpected. I had no idea at all none whatsoever. I just didnt know that my soul was so empty. And yet, i am full from the taste of your lips upon my lips. My life now has purpose and meaning. I'm lost for words, truly I am."
And quiet Mr Von Sneppick who never said much turned to Mrs Duckers and said" Fancy a f...?"
..or everyone there is someone to be found
Especially in romantic Boffington Town. 

 

  • Author: Saxon Crow (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 29th, 2021 00:50
  • Comment from author about the poem: It's never ending!
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 44
  • Users favorite of this poem: Accidental Poet, dusk arising.
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Comments5

  • Goldfinch60

    Wonderful fun write SC, there must be a book in the offing?

    Andy

    • Saxon Crow

      Ha! Yes but who is it aimed at?!

      • Goldfinch60

        Depends on how far you will be able to throw it!

      • orchidee

        Oh lol, good write SC.

        • Saxon Crow

          Thanks Orchi

          • orchidee

            You met them?!

          • 1 more comment

          • Doggerel Dave

            Boffington Town sounds a very interesting place full of ....colorful ...characters. Could you give me directions (I need to make a personal visit)?

            • Saxon Crow

              No Dave. You wouldnt! Haha

              • Doggerel Dave

                Let me be the judge of that, Sir.I shall inspect all subsequent portraits of Boffington with a view to the discovery of its location....

              • Accidental Poet

                I thought sure that Mr Von Sneppick and Mrs Duckers in the process of their shared kiss would swap more than spit between their tongues. Great write Sax.

                • Saxon Crow

                  How very dare you! They are both a lady and a gentleman!
                  Thanks AP

                  • Accidental Poet

                    I meant after their kiss, the potty mouth of Mrs. Duckers would be transfered to Mr. Von Sneppick. Guess I was wrong, not the first time. LOL. Still, a great funny write Sax. ; )

                  • 1 more comment

                  • dusk arising

                    Dear Saxon Crow, excellence comes along rarely but when it does it is outstanding. Today you display your creative humour and poetic craft with a superb showpiece.
                    This is so good on so many levels.

                    Have I got room for it among my favourites.... even if there were none, I'd make room for it.

                    • Saxon Crow

                      Dear Dusk Arising,

                      I thank you most graciously for your kind comments. The very large cheque is in the post.

                      Yours in equal admiration
                      S Crow esq



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