The news is in and things are bad
Santa has been fired
For breaching so many rules in his time
The poor sods been retired
Risk assessments have been conducted
By the health and safety board
And the police are investigating him on several counts of fraud
There's also breaking and entering
And charges of loitering in the street
Begging, coercing information and i won't mention scaring all the kids
Then MI5 really want to know
How he gets around,
Without a passport, to every country and ever single town.
And with all the languages that he speaks he is posing a heightened risk
So just for safety and assurances he's on their naughty list
And animal welfare are up in arms
Because reindeer can't live on carrots
And making them fly is just plain cruel
Their mammals not colourful parrots
Greta Thornbergs not in school again
Because his sleigh causes climate change
And black lives matter are fuming because they can find nothing strange
And with these new rules put in place
He's definitely not isolating.
Not wearing a mask or cleaning his, hands
Means he's a walking infestation.
So there you have it, the evidence is in
Christmas has been cancelled
Santa is the world's most wanted man
It's a terrible situation
But come Christmas eve when we are all asleep he'll be delivering presents
With some luck.
Because Santa is made of joy and magic and doesn't give a fuck
-
Author:
Saxon Crow (
Offline) - Published: December 13th, 2021 02:56
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 29
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek, spilleronsheet
Offline)
Comments9
My 3yr old has totally cottoned on to all of it now. Christmas is definitely in our house!
A very happy Christmas to you and your family Teddy x
Thank you for a good laugh with your punchline. You are quite the storyteller Saxon.
I'd love to be around my grandkids at this special time of year for them. Covid has a lot to answer for but staying alive for a better day is my motivation.
Thabks for stopping by Dusk. I won't get into the whole discussion and share my thoughts and opinions on it. But I will say..... Happy Christmas mate
'*They're mammals not colourful parrots'
Awesome!
thank you, dear Poet
such a fun read
Yes, and a crafty disguise too, with that beard and red suit! lol.
What about drink driving flying without a licence and slave Labour of the elves. Very amusing piece love the he's on their naughty list and he doesn't give a 😈
Gotta feel for the poor old fella - definitely from another era - unable to cope with modern values , and in all manner of shit.... Now in my day, in my day I say, he was allowed to just slip away quietly, when I didn't believe anymore.
Chuckle time, Sax.
LMAO! Wow, excellent write Sax! Very clever indeed🙂
Super fun write SC but with some truth laden in your words.
Andy
What a masterpiece
Kept me hooked with every Santa’s crime
Really loved this poetry
So unique
Took me on a roller coaster of humour
A very well crafted poetry
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