The Valentine Present

Paul Bell

Darling, I’m thinking of getting implants.
Right fine, I was going to the gardening centre today, we can go together
No, silly, breast implants.
You already have two breasts.
I want bigger ones.
How much do they cost.
Eight thousand pounds.
What, four thousand a breast, are they gold.
It’ll be worth it, and you are a breast man.
For that price, I would expect a lifetime subscription for Farley's Rusks.
You wait till you take my bra off.
That’s another thing, a new wardrobe.
Think of it as a Valentines present.
Wouldn’t you like a ring instead?
No, I want bigger breasts.
I want a bigger dick, but I can’t have one.
Well, actually you can, darling.
Not for those prices.
No, the surgeon says he can take a bit of fat off my breasts and insert it into your penis.
What, you’ve been discussing me with the surgeon.
Yes, seemingly it’s the rage.
Oh, I don’t know, seems a bit Frankenstein to me.
Just think, you could be walking about with me inside you.
That’s another thing, you’re always complaining about your breasts.
Only when you grab them like rugby balls.
I get excited easily.
Why don’t we go to bed and discuss it?
Oh, no you don’t, before I know it you’ll be getting a nose job.
Look at my breasts darling, now imagine them bigger, can you see it.
All I can see is pound signs.
Put that extra large penis inside me, how are you feeling now.
I’m feeling poor.
You’re not looking properly, visualise me taking my bra off, you’re getting erect, you can’t take your eyes off them. What do you see now
My god it's amazing, I can see it now, do you think I can dip my rusk in your milk.

  • Author: Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 14th, 2022 11:46
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 22
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Comments3

  • Rocky Lagou

    YO! This was a trip!!!! Heheheheh! I actually gagged on the line: "No, the surgeon says he can take a bit of fat off my breasts and insert it into your penis." Y'alll!!!! The Humanity!!! Lol. Good job though! Happy Valentine's ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’–

    • Paul Bell

      Not be long before you pop down to the supermarket for plastic surgery.

    • Rozina

      Haha youโ€™re so funny Paul! But seriously for that amount of money, the whole package includes post-op care, top hotel stay (4 or 5 star hotel) etc - offered in some SE Asian countries where boob jobs are done frequently and effectively! See you around then!

      • Paul Bell

        I preferred the cheaper option of just killing her. lol

      • Goldfinch60

        Wonderful fun write and my first laugh of the day for which I thank you.

        Those rusks have a great deal for which to answer.

        Andy

        • Paul Bell

          You need a laugh to start the day.



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