Rocky Lagou

On the Passing of my Mother


Notice of absence from Rocky Lagou
Dear MPS,
I will be inactive during Summer
And I will most likely return around mid to late August.
It's truly been such a pleasure to read poems from such talented and phenomenal poets like you all.
Likewise, to receive such kindhearted and genuine compliments and comments on my own.
Just keep in mind that this isn't "goodbye," and I can't wait to see what marvels you have all created when I return.

Much love and poetic hugs,
Rocky Lagou.

This is my breaking point.

 

Our long anticipation is finally over,

The tears are no longer deliberate

They’ve grown old on our saggy bucket faces

The only one looking up now - is gone.

 

Silence hugs each one of us

With a firm embrace so eerie yet so soothing

When all other elements are against you,

The only comfort comes from the things not hungry to kill.

 

There lies an open box,

So long and full of memories

All things fulfilled and left undone

All lie within the longitude of this worldly box -

 

The vastness is almost unbearable

An enormous ship rolling in the waves of

Shed tears, rolling away from the sphere

Making its way to the pier – which is far beyond reach.

 

My grandmother

Grief-stricken and in her 80s

Kneels before the sight of her own daughter

On her delicate old knees, she prays this last prayer.

 

Never,

In a million years,

Would I have thought I would see

My grandma in such a pitiful position.

 

So, there we were

Long anticipation finally over and HERE.

Dry faces, drought eyes, and the Sorrow that comes

To hunt each heart to shreds, HERE.

 

With no other way of expression

I stand before my mother

And sing. Sing my heart into 3 intimate pieces,

Taking in all that my eyes can behold, knowing it’ll be the last time.

 

Mom, you never changed, even now after death.

I see you in your natural hair color

And I know you never liked wigs; you’d always fuss their presence.

But in this Blonde you look more alive than ever

 

Your brown finery

And the pearls dangling from your ears -

Oh, you knew if you were going to go

You would make it an ornate occasion -

 

Not to mention the white jeweled necklace

Resting on your chest

With the Cross on the end hugging

Your soft hands atop your heart -

 

This isn’t the way I expected life to take you,

Nor take me,

But as the service eases its way to a closure

I begin to appreciate every aspect of life -


It was a good fight,

I’m so glad you were my warrior inspiration.

So, I approach your calm face

And kiss you on your upper cheek

 

The coldness almost took me off guard,

But within that chill,

A spark of fire engulfed me

A transcendence of past, present, future.

 

I left that day

Emotion overloaded, but

Thick-skinned.

With a rejuvenated sense of existence.

  • Author: Rocky Lagou (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 22nd, 2022 10:07
  • Comment from author about the poem: I was uncertain whether to publish this poem today or not, but I think there's no such thing as "the right time." This poem is probably the most personal piece I've written, in which I describe my mother's open-casket funeral service. It was definitely hard to express at the time of writing this, since my mother's passing has affected my life tremendously. But I feel a drive to share my story with the world, and the way that the hard times in my life worked to make me stronger. I hope you enjoy! πŸ’–
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views:
  • Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15, spilleronsheet, Christina8, FallenAngel1πŸ•Š, Paul Bell.

Comments12

  • Teddy.15

    To be able to write this is a true talent, I've told you before but when my mother passed I lost my muse for at least 3 years and I was lost, however when I did start writing it gave me so much peace and in a way helped me come to turns with it as she died suddenly when I was in a different country. Bravo πŸ’– always write from your heart especially when it comes to your mother. πŸ’–

    • Rocky Lagou

      Oh, Teddy! I'm sorry but I just picture you as a life-sized Snoopy! 😊And I just get all giddy inside when I see your cute profile picture. But back to the point, I truly appreciate your motivational words. I love getting feedback on my poetry, to improve and continue writing to the best of my abilities. So, you calling this a "true talent" is so uplifting. I'm also so sorry to hear that you were distant from your mother during her passing, I can't even imagine how much hearing the news would've hurt. But I hope you've moved on from the pain. Life is a cycle, and we must always focus on the light. So that's why I end this poem on an optimistic message. My mom formed the person I am now, and the way she was such a fighter became my "warrior inspiration." So although her passing caused me much distress, I'm glad to know that she fought till her last day and showed me nothing but love. Thanks again for your beautiful words, have a beautiful day! πŸ’–βœ¨

    • ProfessionalPaperDigester

      I haven't dealt with loss myself (not yet anyway) but i can relate some of these feelings to myself, and what I've seen others experience. I cant quite relate, but I can understand and that is what makes a poem "good," if it's effective and how effective it is. I believe this to be quite effective.

      • Rocky Lagou

        Thanks so much for your reply! I really appreciate your kind words. It's also nice to know that this isn't an experience you can relate to; loss is very hard to go through. But it's nice to see that I was able to transfer the emotion in the poem to you! Have a great day! πŸŒŸπŸ’–

      • spilleronsheet

        A very heart wrenching poetry
        I know she is physically no more
        But she is inside you
        Your her reflection
        Her desires you carry
        Her wishes remain
        And cherish those memories she kept with you
        I am sure, watching from heaven above she would be so proud of you
        Each word you wrote, I could see that sad scene
        I could feel the pain building inside
        And it is very courageous of you, to pen your saddest emotions
        Dear Rocky, your mother is alive in your poetries
        Keep penning dear friend
        Don’t stop

        • Rocky Lagou

          Wow! My heart just filled with joy after reading your comment! It's so fulfilling to have someone understand my emotion and my message. I'm also thankful for your reminder that my mother is present with me in an immaterial sense. "Your mother is alive in your poetries" really HIT deep. I guess I never thought about it that way but it's so true. She lives on in my words. Thanks so much for your comment and may you have a wonderful day! πŸŒŸπŸ’–

        • Jane Clemons

          This poem is so sensitive, yet intense. There are two phrases that caught my heart: "Silence hugs each one of us", as there is a certain death we experience in our spirit when a loved one loses their physical being. The other term I liked was "My warrior inspiration ". You really shine in the area of sensitivity ! Love, comfort, joy & peace to you.....

          • Rocky Lagou

            Wow Jane! I feel like you took the words straight out of my mouth! When writing this poem that is exactly what I wanted to shine through the poem: sensitivity and intensity. It feels so rewarding to see that you captured that message. I also agree 100% with you. After a loss, "silence" begins to make itself known in our minds and it's an overwhelming sensation. I'm also glad to see that you highlighted the lines "warrior inspiration" as I find that line probably one of the most important in the whole poem. My mom was truly an inspiration for me and although she is gone physically, having memories with her is a driving force that motivates me everyday. Thanks so much for your touching comment! Have a lovely day! πŸ’–πŸŒŸ

            • Jane Clemons

              Your mother was truly a blessed woman to have a son with so much love and admiration for her ! Take care of yourself !

            • orchidee

              A sensitive write Rocky.

              • Rocky Lagou

                Thank you so much Orchidee! I really appreciate your words and it's nice to see that you enjoyed the poem. I hope you have a blessed day! πŸ’–

              • Christina8

                This is absolutely heart wrenching and memories from my own mothers funeral came flooding behind tears. My grandmother too stood before her casket. I just want to say you have penned a beautiful memory though sad and I offer my condolences for your loss!

                • Rocky Lagou

                  Wow! This was such a touching response Christina. I, too, offer my condolonces. How ironic, that we were able to relate to a funeral service so similarly. I'll never forget my grandma's look of desolation. Being witness to that, AT THE AGE OF 13, was such an overwhelming experience. But I just want to let you know that it's been over 3 years since her passing and that I've had time to recover. Although, of course, I get sad from time to time thinking about her absence, I've learned to be more grateful about the people and things around me now. And overall, I hope that's a message that I was able to transmit to you: Be grateful for every blessing! Thanks so much, I REALLY appreciate your beautiful input. I hope you've had time to move on from your loss as well. Know that she will always be in your heart and your memories. You are loved! Have a wonderful day! πŸ’–βœ¨

                  • Christina8

                    Yes I was in my thirties when my mom passed and it was an end to suffering. i take your message to appreciate every blessing to heart!! Thank you!

                  • FallenAngel1πŸ•Š

                    I had a hard time reading this,as it brought back memories of my moms funeral service. I praise your strength,I could never write such a detailed picture of such a painful memory. The love you have for your mom and grandmother shine through bright and strong here. Nothing short of a beautiful piece of you. Thanks so much for sharing Rocky.πŸ»πŸ€—πŸŒžπŸ•Š

                    • Rocky Lagou

                      Your comment is much appreciated! I'm honestly quite amazed to see just how many people can relate to the loss of their maternal figure. It really is an intense predicament to be in and I'm also sorry about your loss. But I'm uplifted to know that we're all in this together. Thanks for your kind words and I'm really happy to see that you enjoyed the poem. Have a beautiful day! πŸ’–πŸ»βœ¨

                    • Rozina

                      I am sorry for your loss. My mum passed away 2 years ago. I have so many memories of her too.Thank you for sharing this beautiful personal story with us. All the very best to you.

                      • Rocky Lagou

                        Thanks very much! My sincere condolences to you. I totally understand the pain that is undergone during mourning but I just want to remind you that your mother is in a safer place now, and she will always live on in your memories and your heart. I'm glad to see that I was able to stir your emotions via the poem and I wish you a wonderful day! πŸ’–πŸŒŸ

                      • kivous

                        First of all, sorry for your loss Rocky. A heart-rending poem and your emotions came out beautifully. Your poem reminds me of Shelley's famous poem "To a Skylark" where he rightly said, "Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.". But that's life, I lost my father last year in Covid and since then I am writing as it gives me solace. Hope she rests in peace and you find the strength to move on. I can only imagine how hard it has been for you write this poem. Thanks for sharing as sharing to some extent lessens the pain.

                        • Rocky Lagou

                          Kivous thank you very much for dropping by. I'm very sorry about your loss. But it's a fulfilling feeling to see that through my poetry I was able to slightly alleviate the burden of a loss. I understand the suffering that is experienced and I wish you the best! Your father loves you, and he is in a better place now. That Shelley excerpt is also a perfect fit for the message I was trying to convey, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I just want to remind you that your father lives on in your poetry, and that is why I personally write about my mother in my poems; it helps to remember their presence and to motivate you to move on. I hope you have a wonderful day! πŸ’–πŸ’–

                        • Paul Bell

                          I've always got different views on open caskets. Death at anytime is bad enough, but when it's your own, it's like your world ending.
                          Hope sharing has helped you.

                          • Rocky Lagou

                            Yes, sharing this with the world is definitely a breather. Especially seeing everyone's kind comments. Open casket funerals are for sure a burden on the mourner, but it's nice to see them one last time. I'm glad to see you enjoyed the poem and have a great day! πŸ’–

                          • junia

                            I am so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing, the poem is beautiful. It almost feels wrong to pick lines that I liked best but I think details like "natural hair color" and "kiss you on your upper cheek" are what makes this poem so heartbreakingly captivating.

                            • Rocky Lagou

                              Thanks so much Junia! I'm delighted to see your comments! Also there's nothing wrong with sharing your opinions, so your good πŸ€— I'm glad to see that the details and descriptors were able to transport you to message of the poem and it's nice to see your appreciation! It's a jumble of emotions that this poem conveys but I hope the main one that you left with is "hope." Although mourning is difficult, my mom loved me and will forever continue in my heart and my words. Thanks once again, have a wonderful day! πŸ’–βœ¨

                            • littlegreenbag

                              I got teary-eyed while reading this. Sad to admit but I know exactly how you feel. Losing someone is never easy, especially if that person means a lot to you.
                              Sending love! ❀

                              • Rocky Lagou

                                It's so touching to hear that I was able to stir your emotions. I strive to create poetry that will resonate with others and I'm delighted to see that you felt the sentimentality of the piece. I hope you feel uplifted by my final message in the poem: that through loss and through grief, despite being overburdening, can materialize hope and a "rejuvenated sense of existence." Lots of love right back to you! πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–



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