Poet in the Beast

Rocky Lagou

Foul brute,

You wished to murder the reflection

But the glass shattered in an instant –

 

It’s not like you

To be stuck in a mind maze.

All day - head daze.

 

There’s a layer,

Within many layers,

That’s slowly devouring you.

 

It could be the way the light was dimmed,

Or perhaps the way it’s been cupped your whole life -

That’s led to this torture – but could it be?

 

Over time,

I’ve been unraveling each sheet and coat

Like a sour onion.

 

I’ve tried to meticulously

Get down to the roots – of you.

But it feels like I’m caught in barbed wire –

 

All the snares the enemy has

Tied and looped into perfect positioning –

Has caught your foot.

 

The psychiatrist

Initiates exercises each time you visit:

“First, close your eyes – and search for your core.”

 

She says it’s the glabella

That carries all the burdens of the mind –

She says it’s time to work that stress away:

 

“Envision yourself in an empty room... got it?

Okay, now picture your brain as the landmark of your thoughts,

Whenever you feel an impulse take control,

 

Maneuver it back to your center.”

However, you got lost in the 1st step, and the emptiness

Of the room has engulfed you into panic –

 

It’s the way the walls are too white

And the way the air is too tight –

Or the recollection of the unattended cradle

 

Swaying through the night –

But She says to focus on the exercise,

She says it with a redheaded glare.

 

“Have you found your center?”

She interrogates. But the hour is too late -

An open window blows a breeze of plum tree into the face –

 

The nectarous aroma grabs you by the nostrils –

And leads you back home.

The shards stay laying on the bathroom tiles –

 

All the while you write because She

Says it helps – and because it’s what you like.

It conjures up the dreaded days – and gives it new life.

 

The notebook is closed now –

But you’re sure to return tomorrow.

And you try to piece the mirror back together again.

 

Do you see me in the cracked reflection?

  • Author: Rocky Lagou (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 29th, 2022 11:28
  • Comment from author about the poem: Hey! This is a poem about mental health and I personally struggle with it. It was inspired by a Mitski song called "Bag of Bones" in which she sings "Let's shake this poet out of the beast." I feel we all have our own problems that get in the way of our mental and creative development. Note: the "you" and "I" in this piece hold deeper weight. πŸ’–
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 40
  • Users favorite of this poem: Christina8, Kinsey Peterson.
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Comments7

  • Crowns4Christ

    That therapy has never worked for me, only love and God, great job

    • Rocky Lagou

      Honestly though! I'm not gonna say that all therapists are bad, but a good majority do the contrary of help. I'm so happy to see that you enjoyed the poem and I hope you have a lovely day! πŸ’›

    • Christina8

      I love this piece, Rocky! Yes, I see you in the cracked reflection. Your psychiatrist doesn't sound very helpful, idk just me maybe. I want you to know you are not alone with mental health issues. I struggle too, though as I've gotten older, I struggle less. Hopefully time heals all wounds. Good luck on your journey!

      • Rocky Lagou

        Thanks so much! Your words are much appreciated! Though I haven't had many encounters with psychiatrists my family is actually planning on finding me one, but I honestly am not looking forward to it. The mirror, no matter how cracked, will always reflect your true self. It's nice to see that you've bettered and I hope that time truly heals all wounds! Have a great day!

      • dean langmuir

        Good write Rocky,Oooh the deeper I.You will see it when your I-s are ready.take care,poet on.

        • Rocky Lagou

          Thanks abundantly! The "I-s" are surely deeper as that "I/me" is that true self, while I refer to that "beast" (mental issues) as a "you" that wants to invade our beings. So no matter how hard it gets I hope that we will always find our TRUE selves in the mirror. Have a wonderful day!

        • Rebeccaslit

          Love this poem, its the first one of yours I've read πŸ™‚ It flows so well and is captivating. Happy reader ☺️

          • Rocky Lagou

            Thanks so much! It's nice to see you around and I hope you feel welcomed by my poems. I always write from my heart and what I truly want to express. Have a great day! 😁

            • Rebeccaslit

              True expression makes the best poetry πŸ™‚ I do feel welcomed, thank you ✨

            • Kinsey Peterson

              I think I just fell in love with your words. You have undeniable skill and talent and you convey your emotions with such adept language- I don't even know where to begin. As someone who struggles with mental health, is openly lgbtqia+, and is also 16 years old- this is really hitting home for me. It's reminding me of when I used to break my mirrors because I couldn't stand the reflection. Brilliant work, Rocky.

              • Rocky Lagou

                Hi Joan! It's truly such a pleasure to see you enjoyed this piece, it came from a place of pain. I feel that bottling up your emotions and exercising self-harm is such a destructive force. I had suicidal tendencies and I'm so glad that I've been able to overcome it. Of course I still struggle with it today but I've found such a great liberator, poetry. That's why this poem centers on writing as the main source for finding your true self. It's actually such a joy to see that there is someone else on this site that shares so much in common with me. I mean we're both 16 and we're both a part of the beautiful society of people which openly deviate from the "norms" and strive to just spread the message that "It's OKAY to love who you love and be who you truly are." The backlash on the LGBTQ+ community is simply atrocious and I can only hope for a day where a child can grow up in a family and open up about their identity or their sexuality without the fear of being abandoned. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's almost become a mantra of mine. But the day a man and a man can walk hand-in-hand without fearing public insults, assault, or MURDER, is the day we've truly reached equality and freedom. Anyways thanks so much for your kind words. Have a lovely day! (Can't wait to see more from you) πŸ’–

              • sorenbarrett

                A very open write, revealing and raw. I noticed that the I's have attempted to be the therapist but to no avail while the psychiatrist has been equally unsuccessful. There's a feeling of isolation and sterility. The abandoned cradle contributes to this alienation. It ends positively in that you are sure to find your way back home and piece things back together, Well done

                • Rocky Lagou

                  Thank you so much for your in-depth interpretations. You are definitely spot on with the sense of isolation being pervasive in this piece. It does center on that sense of losing yourself and becoming unaware of who really has your back. It also reflects a little on the past with the cradle line, hinting at a rough childhood. Also the "I" and the "you" in this poem are actually the same person, which is shown in the final line: "Do you see me in the cracked reflection?" However the nuances of the "you" and the "I" are found through further analysis. So in short, the "you" is the beast and the "I" is the poet, hence the title. So it's all a journey to finding your true self. Thanks once again for your thoughtful reply and may you have a great day! ✨

                  • sorenbarrett

                    When the I and the you become one there will be no more fractures

                  • GenXer Shamrocker ☘️

                    Mental health is still something that so many struggle with but it’s still too stigmatized to talk about. This poem holds much meaning to me. Thank you for sharing this Rocky.

                    • Rocky Lagou

                      It's my complete pleasure Sharon. To see you resonate with this poem is truly touching and I totally agree with you on the stigmatization on mental health. It's such a shame that people still view it with little value and don't do enough to help those who are truly suffering. I hope you heal and accept yourself with all the value you're worth! Have an amazing day! πŸ’–

                      • GenXer Shamrocker ☘️

                        Thank you for these words!! Enjoy your day as well.



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