Bad Dreams and Nightmares

I remember a time where I yearned to fall asleep

I would lie in bed and immediately feel protected by an army of fluff and warmth

Ever since I met you though, I avoid closing my eyes for as long as possible

Prolonging the day just so I wouldn’t have to think about you

The thought of you infiltrating my mind made my stomach turn in pain

You’d think it was the demons suffocating me and forcing me to take my last breath

Or feeling and remaining paralyzed as every word I attempted to utter stumbled against the back of my teeth

The creepiest of smiles watching and waiting to hear me scream simply because it enticed their ears

But really I would rather a monstrous uproar than to feel your face 2 inches from mine

Or my agonizing thoughts conjuring up your false touch 

Your smile is engraved in me and I’m trying not to get attached because as soon as I wake up you’re no longer visible

I would rather the blood seep down my face than to wipe away tears 

I’d rather be broken and contorted than to only have you for a few seconds

Every night I see you is a never ending purgatory of pain and it hurts far worse than any evil I dare to imagine

Sometimes I think I like the pain though

Because real you and real me were so messed up that dream us could be perfect 

Because real you and real me could never communicate and it wracked my brain with every fight

And yes real me and real you drifted so far apart that even seeing you in a dream shocked me

And yes dream you tortured dream me but real you completely destroyed real me

Your presence in my life is all my nightmares require but being able to fix us is one of my deepest desires