Ooh, man, life could well
be a bed of roses
If only love alone
sprinkled from the hoses.
If only love flowed
like an endless stream
If only love didn't end
like a shortlived dream.
In all certainty, the antonym of love
plunges you in the bed of thorns
Much unlike the agile yet peaceful dove
love grows weeds, rust and horns!
I so pity the lovelorn,
the lovesick, the forlorn
whose lover flew out
the window last morn
But I know too of pure loves
that outlast the storms
for one, they didn't begin
in high school dorms.
They weren't unstable premarital loves
nor impulsive loves for sure
Less whimsical, and within the bounds
of the marital bond so
their love tis bound to endure.
For in wedlock's hammock
fickle lovers don't fit and rock.
Since without holy matrimony
Is merry go round love's agony
-
Author:
S.zaynab.M.V.Kamoonpury (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 26th, 2023 05:27
- Category: Love
- Views: 21
- Users favorite of this poem: 🐤s.zaynab.kamoonpuri🌷🐦😽, Soman Ragavan.
Offline)
Comments11
Nice write. Good story. One small thought , that line “sprinkled from the hoses” seems out of place. It’s not a corny poem , it’s got substance. And maybe that line is corny?? Maybe try “is what our fate proposes” or almost anything else is better than sprinkled hoses. Change it. Or not ?
Um i don't know about what makes a line corny , english not being my mother tongue but i thought it apt that hoses sprinkled on a bed of roses. But thanks soo much for your great super feedback, i like suggestions though im not good at editing.
Dear poet this is such a beautiul take on love everlasting. I can relate to the metaphor of a hose, sprinkling life giving water on the bed of roses. Love, like that bed must be cared for, that weeds may not overtake and prevent it from growing and flourishing. The gardner makes the commitment to always care for his plants, as do husband and wife to each other. Having been married to the same wonderful man for 53 years I can attest the the fact that continualy watering those roses pays off in beautiful blooms year after year. Love this write, it's a real fav.
You sound like a beautiful soul and you write words of gold to be heeded by all. Indeed you need to tend the garden of love. Best wishes to you and your married love. Married love is the best yes. Warmest thanks for a great wonderful comment, 🌷
Married love is the best!!
I loved your poem very much. My husband & I dated in high school. We graduated and went our ways. 27 yrs later we found each other again. We've been together 12 yrs and married for 2. So far this time, it has been roses. My first marriage was both roses and thorns. So I can relate to your poem extremely well
Woahh dear so you dated someone else in high school, then married someone else and when it didn't work out you got back with your school sweetheart and married him? Gahh, sounds quite dramatic and perhaps traumatic but it must be quite a lucky thing eh dear. And did you both have kids with previous marriages? Its hard with kids im sure.
Anyway not many are lucky like you to get back with childhood sweethearts as most just end in heartbreak forever.
I have observed many lasting stable loving marriages and the shortlived failed relationships were always preceded by hot love affairs ah!.
Warmest thanks for fine comment, wishing you life of love and joys, take care.
I did find love once but it flew away like a scared parrot.The poem explores the irony of Love.Well done
Aw sad but never give up on love, though if it was scared are you scary?😁.
Thanks so much for fine comment .
Love is the way to be in this world szk.
Andy
It sure is, love is vital!! Thanks so much for super comment,
Wonderful poem on love and marriage ...
Warmest thanks for super comment🌷
in simple terms i like it, the poem conveys its meaning clearly and precisely well done
Im always glad its clear as that's my intention always. Thanks soo much for great comment!
requited love manifests over time when the coda, ethos, fiat, et cetera of marriage, which demands obeisance to contractual obligations as pertains to yours truly (me), whose infidelity rent asunder the obligation to abide by the credo of lifelong commitment to one whose company (the missus) gradually became synchronized with mine.
Gah, thanks so much for comment, but not sure if i really got it. You mean the wife did the infidelity??
I don't agree with your premise but I understand what you feel... I'm married 50 years and still love my spouse. But I know nothing is simple and one size does not fit all. Calm deep long love is a blessing, but sometimes passion and arguing in the rain at 2 am is just what the soul needs...
Yeah there are exceptions to everything i guess . Thanks soo much for fine comment, nice to know of great lasting married loves since unmarried loves last so short. Thanks to your encouragement i will post soon. Cheers,
PS I miss your contributions!
A very well written piece
Thanks soo much for comment!
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