Uncertain.

I can’t sit, or stand or be. 

My head is always running. 

My thoughts like bullets through my body. 

When I can rest I am restless. 

My head showing me things I don’t wanna see. 

Dreams that I can’t stand. 

It just feels wrong.

 

Wanting the new and not appreciating the old. 

My longing for new experiences is exhausting to me.

It feels like I have to pull myself together all the time. 

I want to do it but I know it won’t bring me peace either way. 

My hearts aches for the right thing but it can’t follow. 

Like I am sabotaging myself.

 

I can’t be trusted. 

Leaving my home I forget it. 

I forget its worth and place in myself. 

When leaving my home, I leave my personality behind, I leave behind me. 

I become someone new every time step out of place for a few days.

 And I become myself again when home again. 

 

Not the same, just the same body and smile. 

Feeling like that wasn’t me. 

Couldn’t have been me. 

Not ME. 

More like a corrupted version of myself. 

Like someone stole my memories and gave my actions to someone else. 

 

All these thoughts so I don’t have to look at the truth, to not confront myself with what really is ME.