Brokenhearted Charities
Open your heart for only $19.99 a month
Just $00.69 a day.
How much will it cost to mend a broken heart?
How much can you pay?
Love is not on sale.
Those that try to sell it are frigid heirs.
Those that try to buy it are webers
and should stay off their computers, both of them.
The brokenhearted need more than
69 cents worth of love, daily.
Maybe, those that break a heart
should be fined $19.99 a month for life
and it would pay for everyone that needs love.
Call in and report the HE/SHE who broke your heart
The emergency number is 1-2-1
If the line is busy, well, what did you expect?
Send a letter to Little Cupid @ The Equatorial Igloo
but hurry. Time is of the 6th sense.
If your heart has been broken
You are entitled to reparations.
Call that number or write your letter
OK the first calls are coming in.
We have Patrick from Kentucky.
And he’s claiming Brenda also of Kentucky
broke his heart beyond repair.
So, Brenda if you’re reading this please call
and we can link you up with Patrick
and maybe you two can work this out.
If not, Brenda, we’ll have to assess you
$19.99 per month
That’s how it works folks.
Oh, we have Brenda on the line.
You say he was an alcoholic.
That’s quite inconsiderate of you Brenda.
I’m sorry, young lady, that’ll be $19.99 a month.
Maisey’s on the line
She says Bruce was her dreamboat
but he left her brokenhearted.
Come on Bruce, is that any way to treat a girl?
She called in all the way from Alaska
Come on Bruce give us a call.
You people out there, yes you.
If this has ever happened to you
Be sure to call in and tell us about it.
Yes OK, we have Bruce calling in.
Boy he’s a brave one, to call.
What’s that you say, you were drafted
Into the Army in 1970.
How old are you Bruce ?
95, and Maisey, my wife is 94
Why is she calling you people?.
So long Bruce, hang in there.
Well you never know.
Crazy things can happen
That’s it for us.
We’re out of time
Remember that number
1-2-1
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Author:
MendedFences27 (
Offline) - Published: August 8th, 2024 09:52
- Comment from author about the poem: Just me being funny. I hope.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 11
- Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15
Offline)
Comments4
I would give you $ 19.99 for your wonderful ironic humour, what a jar you've opened on love, inspiring to say the least, brilliant and I think I may chuckle all evening, Phil the agony uncle on the radio 📻 keeping the world honest, love it's not all sunshine and rainbows this is a kudos. 🌹
Thank you, Teddy. Agony Uncle" is a new one to me, love it. A few chuckles is all I want to hear. thanks again for your comments.
You are not only funny, you are amazing Phil ..
Hou have got this particular poetic genre sewn up my friend .. Neville
Thank you, Neville. Is this a genre? Holy smokes! and I thought I was just being funny.
Look at how technology and 'Love' keep the economy stimulated.
Can you franchise that out? there's enough profit there for everyone to have a fair return.
Good laugh, Phil with just the merest smattering of cynicism I feel.
Thank you, DD. I'm not a member of the "Cynicism" cult. or any other "ism." "Love and Technology, " I swear, I've never had sex with a robot. Now about that Franchise, I can sell you one for a mere $30 US. Some people would actually buy it and send you the $19.99 every month. So far though, no one here has responded with a name.
Fair enuf , Phil - So I have to find out the rate of exchange (it may surprise you to know that the US Dollar is not legal tender here; believe it or not we have our own currency)........... Also Govt. here getting a little twitchy re cross boarder internet interactions, particularly if the word 'love' appears and is somehow part of the deal.....
Good luck anyway.
Sorry to hear that DD. I guess this enterprise of mine will strictly be a monastic free for all. Brokenhearted clients and a broken-down operation. Oh well, at least the overhead is minimal.
Yeh - "Always look on the bright side of life"....
Amen!
Such an important number Phil.
Andy
So true Andy. People need to talk to one another.
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