The Mingle Classes

Tom Dylan


Notice of absence from Tom Dylan
Sorry if there is a delay in responses. Sometimes life gets in the way. As John Lennon said, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

I am mingling with the middle classes

this weekend, having been invited

to a wealthy relative’s swanky dinner party.

 

I am mingling with the middle classes

where there are rules and etiquette,

like we’re playing chess rather

than socialising for fun.

 

I remind myself not to swear,

to drink my beer from the glass

not the can,

and not to get so drunk I slur.

 

If I take my jumper off I will remember

to knot it around my shoulders

rather than tie it round my waist.

I will remember to pronounce

the letter G at the end of my sentences

even though the conversation is boring,

 

I will remember that talking about holidays

is a competitive sport, like playing poker,

destinations visited are laid down like cards,

that long-haul trumps a package holiday,

and that a vacation in this country

isn’t worth the jet-lag.

 

I will remember to bid even the most

rude and pompous of guests

a good evening, adding that it was lovely to meet them,

even though they look down their nose.

 

I will be travelling by bus, but, I assume,

the others will ride over on their high horse.

 

I will remember to go to my local pub

and meet with real people next weekend.

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Comments +

Comments7

  • orchidee

    Will you have cucumber sandwiches too?! And will you say things like: 'Tally ho'; 'How spiffing'; 'Can't say I care much for that chap - the cad, the bounder'?! etc. lol.

    • Tom Dylan

      Yes, that's exactly it! Really not my scene at all. I'll be on my best behavior and they'll still look down their noses.

      • orchidee

        Just humour them - say 'Jolly hockey sticks' often, and things like that, and guffaw rather than laugh. How come I know these upper class things?! Hope it's not too boorish for you. Will Lord and Lady Muck be there? lol.

      • Neville



        This is a splendid account of the uncomfortableness that many are obliged to suffer from time to time but is so very unnecessary .. enjoyed grossly Tom ..

        • Tom Dylan

          Thanks a lot for your comments, Neville. Really appreciated, mate.

        • Doggerel Dave

          Fun not had by you along the way;
          Up theirs is all I’d have to say.
          Couldn’t you find any excuse?
          Kindred spirits not mannered abuse:
          Empty invite into the bin.
          Make a point of committing some sin…..

          My feeble acrostical attempt, Tom.

          • Tom Dylan

            Spot on, Dave. Yeah, I should have made an excuse and gone out with some real people instead. 🙂 Cheers, Tom.

          • Thomas W Case

            Well done. You convey the feeling of being like a fish out of water. I relate.

            • Tom Dylan

              Thanks a lot, Thomas. Really appreciate your comments.

            • sorenbarrett

              I've been to that club and didn't like it that much. Everything was overpriced. Did like the write though

              • Tom Dylan

                Thanks a lot for your comments, Soren. Really appreciated

              • Cheeky Missy

                Wow! Too prettily rendered to effect, oh how delightfully this packs a smack! Excellent imagery and superb poignancy, I can't but adore this lovely number so winsomely rendered. Thank you very much for sharing!

                • Tom Dylan

                  Thanks a lot for your comments, Missy. Really appreciated. Cheers, Tom

                • Goldfinch60

                  Good words Tom, some people are like that but always treat all as equals.

                  Andy

                  • Tom Dylan

                    Thanks a lot for your comments, Andy. Really appreciated. Cheers, Tom.



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