Close Shaves and Final Cuts
When they shave me for
the last time,
as they always tend to do ..
Please be sure
that they use my old razor,
or a proper one
and most definitely not one
that has been
borrowed or some electric
whirring thing ..
Oh’ and if by chance they
should fail to
nick my waxy chin, cheeks,
or saggy jowls,
just be sure that, I forgive
you and indeed
everyone absolutely every
single thing ..
But please, make sure that
the guy with
the razor makes a test cut
before applying
any rouge or makeup they
think necessary ..
And should by any chance
I bleed at all
during the above outlined
procedure ..
Then reschedule all planned
celebrations
and go get a decent physician
out to me pronto ..
-
Author:
Neville (
Offline) - Published: December 4th, 2024 02:46
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 29
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
Offline)
Comments12
KP knew I wanted to end it all with a razor, but she has bought me a battery-operated one without batteries. Doh! She insists I must stay to support her with money for botox. lol.
I would have made you into a hand warmer or something long ago ..
They used to put a mirror close to the nose just to check but a razor check would be good too!
thanks arqios 👍
Enjoyable read, thank you
Thank you .. most kindly ..
Your very welcome
Neville. Now this is something that I hadn’t thought about. Since you have brought it up though, I want a straight razor shave and that it’s the most satisfying. I like the ending of this point maybe if I pretend to be dead I can get a free shave
maybe .. but at least you got the point .. cheers .. Neville
Regarding the above: Involved in a tour of a morgue once. In passing the mortuary fridge room, noted on door some wag had marked:
“Rooms available: Cool in summer, Quiet Neighbors”
I got locked in one years back at St Crispin Psych Hospital in Northampton .. Dr. Who filmed a few episodes there as it was a fine Victorian example .. 😎👍
Wadda you mean 'locked in one'? Weren't you prepared to settle up for the rent?
As usual...... That clock tower is something else...
Hey you old Dog .. art thou familiar with the SCH clock tower .. its still there but looks very poorly .. such a crying shame .. a very curios me ..
Only from the photo - the 'as usual' was me yet again fishing on Google to find out your reference....
Is there not a story/yarn in your confinement at St Crispin's?
There is .. a guy we called Ringo (real name, you already guessed it) who was a porter bleeped me to say he heard some banging in the mortuary .. I was on call .. I remember it was snowing & went to have a look as one does .. and the bastard locked me in .. he clearly didn't like the way me n his missus moved on the dance floor at the monthly Disco ..
You sure you can't turn this into a full on post here or a part/full chapter in your upcoming memoir/autobiography? Pity to bury in this thread....
Maybe one day when I have more time .. I have taken to keeping notes yonks back .. 👍
Excellent write Nevilie
Cheers Tony
You're welcome
As a guy who does a whole lot of shaving, completely bald on my head am I (because I am going to be bald on my terms 🤣 and bald is beautiful 🤣)...I have been to have my head shaved by someone else with a straight blade, which is what got me eventually shaving my own head. But when one does knick the head...oh...does the blood run! LOL! Anyway, that is neither here nor there, but I thoroughly enjoyed this poem as I do a good shave Well done, friend! 👏
Thanks Tristan I like to shave the best ones till last .. or very nearly .. Neville 😎👍
Oh my oh my how bloomin dark can you get 🙂. I knew about mirrors but not about razors. Only you dear Neville can come up with a poem like this 😀
Thanks for indulging me yesterday Cassie .. and please excuse the late acknowledgement .. I am feeling a bit under the weather chuck .. Neville
My sentements exactly, Neville.
I knew I could count on you Jez .. cheers .. Neville
I am enjoying your new book. Well done.
Hey that's mosaic to my ears brother Jez ..
You are not going to have your last shave yet Neville, life is too precious.
Andy
Her indoors want's me to have it off sir .. Thanks for the thumbs up tho' .. graciously received .. Neville
Not planning none too covertly to kick the proverbial bucket any time prematurely in the near future, are we, Sir?! Madam Tussaud's could just as well suffice, couldn't she now, for thee? It's just that I'm none too keen on dispensing with you any time soon, I guess. Excellently rendered with grand imagery in charming good humor with unusually haunting poignancy. Thank you for sharing.
Not making any plans for the time being Missy .. Your compassion is admirable & greatly appreciated ma'am .. Neville
don't use razors, but enjoyed reading the poem
Then that'll do nicely .. thanks my friend .. 😎👍
you are most welcome - take care
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