Undeserving

sorenbarrett

Things too good to hold
Guilt's hands can't touch
With shame's weight they fold
Dissolving threads of sunlight they clutch

Mirage, a thief's reward
Water between fingers
In a sieve of desire stored
Where evaporating memory lingers

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Comments +

Comments11

  • arqios

    For me this poem captures the frustration of life's fleeting joys and the weight of guilt and shame that makes them unattainable. The imagery of "dissolving threads of sunlight" and "water between fingers" poignantly illustrates the elusive nature of happiness and fulfilment. Yet a beautifully haunting reflection on the transient beauty in our lives.

    • sorenbarrett

      Again, I thank you, my friend for your most observant interpretation of this poem. It is always a joy to hear your words of review.

    • David Wakeling

      This is well constructed. I like the rhyme. Guilt and shame are always with us.

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you so much, David your words of support brighten the day.

      • Neville



        Unfortunately, that's the way the cookie crumbles .. it's so unfair .. but not new, it just goes round and around .. perfect penmanship displayed .. Neville 👍

        • sorenbarrett

          Guilt is such a debilitating disease. You would think that they would’ve found a vaccine for it by now. Thank you so much for the read Neville and for your most kind words.

        • Teddy.15

          What a way to see something fade. Memory or other kudos dear friend. 🌹

          • sorenbarrett

            Thank you so much, Teddy. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement.

          • Caring dove

            Interesting writing

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you so much for your comment and review. It is most appreciated.

            • John Prophet

              Nice work! Enjoyed…

              • sorenbarrett

                Thank you John your review is deeply appreciated

              • Tristan Robert Lange

                Yup…this is how it is! Contentment and happiness are ever fleeting, as expressed so poignantly in this poem! 🌹👏

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thank so much Tristan your words of encouragement serve as fuel for further writes

                  • Tristan Robert Lange

                    And a good thing too! I enjoy reading you Soren! And I know I am not alone! 🤗

                  • vicecream

                    I’ve always believed that the searing pain of guilt is itself the price to be paid for wrongdoing; that true justice is brought on by the internal process of feeling guilt, learning from it, and (hopefully) working through it into self forgiveness. It is human to make mistakes. Now what defines the future is how do we move forward from them

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you so much.I too feel that guilt can be one's punishment, I appreciate the review and comment

                    • Tom Dylan

                      Nicely done, Soren. A fine write.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you Tom appreciate it

                      • Tony36

                        Great write

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you Tony

                          • Tony36

                            You're welcome

                          • Goldfinch60

                            Fine words soren showing those things that happen and slip passed us.

                            Andy

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks so much Andy for the read and words of understanding they are appreciated.



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