I was twenty-seven years’ old
my spark gone
lost all hope in love
was drowning
in my very own
sin city
I remember
the day
and hour
my alarm clock
died willingly
I felt nothing
I didn't even notice
every hour was the same
Dark
Cold
Empty
Lonely
I pinned myself
to a bill board
on Fremont Street once
but nobody saw me
a million tiny lights
and I still didn't shine
someone once told me
if I wanted to touch the sun
first, I’d have to climb out
of these
my deepest darkest fires of hell
and, I finally did …
with naked feet.
Comments5
You are right Teddy I remember this poem well from the last posting and this ending is much better indeed (not that the other was bad but rather that this one is better) it gives a whole different feel to the poem. Brilliant!!
Dear sorrenbarret this poem being one of my most personal and comes from a place when I was young, now I'm older. Written 15 years ago ever knowing the ending didn't fit, after much pause and without stress, I have now finally found the ending that fits.
(I think) LoL thank you for all your kind words of support always dear friend. πΉ
Dear Teddy. An inspirational write with a superb ending. When you hit rock bottom, thereβs only one way up. Naked feet tell me of the pain it takes and the struggle in climbing out of the mire. Kudos πΉπ
Oh youn got it perfectly dearest Cassie, thank you so much biggest of hugs π€ π πΉ πΉ πΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉ
Sometimes it takes just that long. But when it's right you know it. πΉπ
I never found the ending I liked until now, thank you dearest A.P for your compassion and understanding. πΉ π
Your most welcome dear Teddy. It's like following a trail never knowing where it leads but finding satisfaction when you reach its end. πΉπ
It is beautiful sweet Teddy. Pwerful work.
Thank you dear Thomas, one of my most important poems personally. Thank you dear friend. πΉ
Fine words Teddy and you have lifted into the light in your life's journey.
Andy
With all the hardship we encounter in life, it's the only thing to do. Thank you dearest Andy. I certainly did and I am forever here to share and to encourage others to do the same. πΉ Thank you dear friend. πΉ
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