You are idea I the doing, your plans perfect my actions not
In your mind fantasies brewing my enactment with errors fraught
Flawlessness and imperfection neither without the other
Two sides of one coin, born twins of the same mother
Expectations beyond the sun, work under it done, both born in sweat
Your observations shun corrections begun my errors become your regret
Moon beds the sun, your plans run white water through the night
Morning succumbs past accomplishments crumbs, light but a blight
In a fight each one is right one passive the other explosive
They compete neither admit defeat a relationship corrosive
Hanging on although all is gone, hope was executed at dawn
Order given through heart driven what was now gone
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Author:
sorenbarrett (
Offline) - Published: March 27th, 2025 03:21
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 49
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Comments9
This reminds me of a dysfunctional couple who are capable of complimenting each other but end up competing with each other .The end result is literally hopeless. A Powerful poem well constructed
Thank you David for your read and interpretation that is one of several that I had in mind. Your words are always most appreciated
A sense of never living up to someone's expectations be a parent or partner, no matter what you do or how hard you try it will never be enough, lovely write
Thank you Tobani for the read and interpretation that is so true. Your words are appreciated and cherished
You are very welcome
Reminds me of shoulder angel and devil and a host of other things. Very engaging read! 🕊🙏🏻
Thank you Cryptic for the read and kind words of support they are most important to me.
You’re welcome Soren 🕊🙏🏻
'' Two side of one coin ,born twins of a same mother ''
For the mercurian I am this sentence is a mental delight ! ''
Thank you Lorenz for your read and support it is always most appreciated.
So often what draws us together is that we are different and then what drives us apart is that we are different. Well done, dear Poet.
Indeed it is so true. Thank your so much for your review and understanding words of interpretation.
This could really be read into any dysfunctional relationship. A dysfunctional parent/child relationship came to mind when I read the words, "Your observations shun corrections begun my errors become your regret". But, it need not be a parent/child relationship. It could be a dysfunctional relationship between a couple (married or otherwise), or any other relationship. I love the way the poem starts...feeling very disjointed and yet, reminiscent of Yoda! To me, that is profound because something disjointed hardly seems wise (Yoda), and yet there is an inherent wisdom in the disjointed words. Whether the Yoda bit was intentional, it is how it hit me at least by the second half of the first line. Anywho, really love this. Yoda says, "From me, a favorite this is. Yes, hmmm." 🌹👏
Thank you Tristan, yes disjointed thoughts are the beginning of many of my poems because this is how the start in my mind. You are so right it can apply to many relationships and is left to the reader to interpret as they will. Your reads and comments are always highly anticipated and appreciated.
Good write SB.
Thanks Orchi appreciate the read.
Opposites do attract soren but they can learn to live together in harmony.
Andy
Thanks Gold for the read and kind words again they are most appreciated
A fine write, Soren. Some great lines and perfectly written. Nicely done.
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