sing

he has me hooked up to his car

and the crackly connection

makes his voice feel a little far

he drives

and sings frank sinatra

through the speakers of his car

it almost sounds like an old radio

a snapshot of the past

a sliver of a simpler kind of love

the kind of love that feels like it could last

all i can see

when i look at him

is old love

genuine love

that kind of love

that does not demand

but charms

i lay here

in my bed

blanket beneath my head

my own hands holding each other

dreaming of the day they hold a lover

it’s dark

the window is ajar

gentle air brushing my hair

into my eyes

and i can feel nothing in this moment

but awe and affection

i want him to change direction

and drive to me instead

he sings loudly

unapologetically

and i find the best parts of me

in him

i hear myself singing

dancing

using my water bottle as a microphone

the same unapologetic expression of joy

almost childlike in its authenticity

he has made me completely rediscover joy

in the purest form

there was a time

i thought id never feel joy again

there was a time

i thought grief

would be my only friend

there was a time

i had to search for the light

but now

i don’t feel the need

to be in constant light

as long as i have this life

as long as i can lay here

and listen to him sing

and drive

i think i’ll be alright.

22:20pm - 30/03/24.