Passing on

sorenbarrett

A swallow too fast is in the past
A shadow cast that doesn't last
Time so vast soon surpassed
Pleasure amassed by haste harassed

Money a ton soon is none
A race begun is soon run
Time spun is soon undone
 Ends the fun a bullet in the gun

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Comments +

Comments15

  • arqios

    Now that has compressed so much in so few lines, bursting with thought and meaning🙏🏻🕊️

    • sorenbarrett

      Thanks Cryptic appreciate the read. Used to compress files on the computer to save space now just words.

    • Poetic Licence

      Forgive me as this is more than likely not what you intended it to mean, but to me it comes across as someone who is only interested in themselves and getting to the top as quickly as possible, regardless of cost to himself or others, than when he makes it, it's not what he thought it would be and the pleasure is short lived, hence the bullet, whatever it means I have enjoyed reading this write

      • sorenbarrett

        Tobani never be hesitant to venture an interpretation because regardless of what I intended what is important is how each reader takes it. Your interpretation is most interesting and as valid as any other. The last part of it in fact had passed through my mind as I wrote it. Your review is always most valued and cherrished

        • Poetic Licence

          Thank you and you are very welcome

        • David Wakeling

          This shoots like a machine gun.Wonderful construction and wisdom.Well done

          • sorenbarrett

            Thank you David I always appreciate your reads and comments. Time passes quickly

          • Salvia.S

            Poignant reminder to cherish the present, as life's moments and pursuits can be fleeting. Well written!!!!

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you so much Salvia I always appreciate your kind words of encouragement

            • Friendship

              Your poem functions as a cautionary narrative, prompting the reader to contemplate the merits of patience, the significance of appreciating experiences, and the inexorable progression of time. It inspires introspection regarding the manner in which one elects to live life amidst societal pressures to accelerate.

              • sorenbarrett

                Thank you Friendship for your interpretation and read it is very much appreciated

              • 2781

                The end.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Indeed and so it is with all things rushed.

                • Tony Grannell

                  This one is fired from the hip, tragic as it is honest. A hurried existence, to make a quick buck, as it were. Each line a shot of truth in a life lived until the final bullet.
                  This is one for the books - excellent!

                  Kind regards,
                  Tony.

                • Thomas W Case

                  Tremendous work.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you so much Thomas your support is most important to me.

                  • John Prophet

                    As with time, firefly flash. Nice ✍️
                    John

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you John for the read and comment it is most appreciated

                    • Lorenz

                      Weird...It reminds of sentences from 70's spaghetti western !

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Well I used to watch them so maybe they were stuck in there somewhere. Weird is always better than boring Lorenz Thanks so much for the read

                      • Tony36

                        BRAVO

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you Tony

                          • Tony36

                            You're welcome

                          • Tristan Robert Lange

                            In this I see the course of one's life with, perhaps, death being the bullet in the gun ending fun. The rushing to grow up, the youthful mistakes cast a bit of a shadow but are forgotten by the progression of one's life and the busyness therein. Then, before one knows it...death. Or, it could be past mistakes forgotten only to return with a vengeance, I can see multiple interpretations in this wonderful poem. Well done, my friend. 🌹👏

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thank you so much Tristan for that viewpoint. Yes there are different possible interpretations. Your comments are always valued.

                            • NinjaGirl

                              Reminds me of Russian Roulette at the end there. I see a gambler, trying so desperately to buy pleasure, then trying desperately to win back his losses. Of course, it's only so long until either a mistake is made, or a purposeful shot taken.

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thank you Ninja that is a great view and interpretation. Well done.

                                • NinjaGirl

                                  Of course! It's a great poem!

                                • Goldfinch60

                                  But the bullet was a blank soren and all was good.

                                  Andy

                                  • sorenbarrett

                                    Thanks so much Andy always appreciate your positive and most kind words

                                  • Accidental Poet

                                    Spoken so true and admired by many. 😉👍

                                    • sorenbarrett

                                      Thank you Accidental your words are most valued



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