A Longing for Freedom.
It is late in the evening, and I am sitting all alone.
It feels like rivers of ice running in my old bones.
Dense darkness filled me with constant dread.
Heart so quiet, feels like it has long been dead.
The sad words I hear were once silent whispers.
Stinging inside like raw open bleeding blisters.
All the words have changed into raging shouts.
Friendly faces I look to find, but no one's about.
Warm eeriness that cruises under the aged skin.
Bringing all the harsh reality of life into question.
Haunting painful memories of a dark secret past.
A longing for freedom that seems to always last.
Weighed down by all the knowledge I cannot tell.
My soul a permanent idol resident in a living hell.
The wounds of pain that release and slowly seep.
The dancing talking demons that break my sleep.
Mind in constant turmoil my head hung in shame.
Complete confusion about why it happened again.
Every darkened corner I entered it's just the same.
The unanswered question was it only just a game.
My tears sting hard in these sorrowful hollow eyes.
A lifelong obsession and need to understand why.
Ghosts of the past torment, that keep me chained.
battalions of the devils’ disciples I can never name.
My soul and mind imprisoned with overflowing fear.
All I ever see, are the demons dancing everywhere.
A young soul was taken, and their game was played.
Was it really my fault, was I really the one to blame.
Tobani 2025.
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Author:
Tobani / Nataiella (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 7th, 2025 01:52
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 30
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy, Tristan Robert Lange, Muse of Calliope
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Comments11
Flows
Thank you
Good to hear from you again Tobani. A poem of internal state and concern over where it is at. Convincing and I don't believe that one's mental state is their fault. Whether you believe in neurotransmitters, God's creation or just predestination none imply blame. Good write my friend
Thank you for your kind words, enjoy the rest of your day
In my eyes, freedom here refers to resolving the inner conflict, ridding of a burden of the guilt, acceptance of one's self, seeing yourself for who you are. Invokes thought, good read!
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Hard
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A very powerful read🕊🙏🏻
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You too! And you are very much Welcome 🙏🏻🕊
Now here is both a brilliant poem and a sight for sore eyes. No. Mental Health is no one's fault. This poem is profoundly important because it speaks to the reality we who struggle with our mental state are constantly dealing with: undeserved shame. If I got even a penny for every time I was dismissed, written off, and made to feel like "the problem" for something "in their control" and out of mine, I'd be a hell of a lot richer. Brilliant, important, hits right! Powerful poem. Great to read you again, dear Tobani! 🌹👏❤️🩹
Thank you for your kind feedback, enjoy the rest of your day
You are most welcome, my friend! You too!
"...there is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mightest be feared--" and, "Lord, remember me when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom," with, "...Who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; Who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's." Where I long to comfort you, very thankful to see you back, I'm uncertain how, precisely, to do so. There is so very much in my past which lies locked up nor faced unless triggered, and which I say is the reason I don't like thrillers and movies of such ilk, as it were, since my own life shall suffice for that. So, anyway. Thank you for sharing. Beautifully rendered with excellent imagery and a painful, yet winsome poignancy. I'm glad to have you back.
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Soulful write… Nice emotion.
Thank you for your feedback, very much appreciated
This poem powerfully captures deep anguish and haunting despair, with vivid imagery of pain and eternal longing. A poignant cry for freedom from unrelenting torment.
Thank you for your kind feedback, very much appreciated
That conflict within you Tobani should be put in a box within your mind and the key thrown away as you move into a good life that is there for you. It is what I do.
Andy
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