Sebastian Crier: The Habitual Liar

This being the tale of a man named Crier,

Who has the High Reputation of a Habitual Liar.

The things that he's claimed to have done in the past:

Would leave you quite Flummoxed; and a little aghast.

He's descended he swears from 'Good Queen Bess':

But the Virginal Queen 'Repelled Boarders' at best.

And to have Sailed around the World;

Twice up to date:

But was 'Blowing his lunch' on the town's boating lake.

Once Dated an Actress from Hollywood he said:

But it's 'Am Dram' Betty that's sharing his bed.

A Contender he Brags in the Pugilist game:

But was 'Felled' by a Drunk,

So it adds to his shame.

And the London Marathon he moved in quick time:

But an Ambulance is fast when a life's on the line.

Another Fib, and occasional boast,

How he once fought a Shark on the Florida Coast.

But amusingly enough by all reports:

It was a Surfboard Fin;

And he Fouled his Shorts.

So this is Sebastian, Machiavellian to a fault;

Take whatever he says with a Shovel of Salt.

So; all things considered you'll find unsurprising;

He has a safe regular job -

In Advertising.