stay

I have to confess

this world, this life

can sometimes feel like a place

I no longer wish to hold

There are good people 

all around me

but I still feel the judgement

I wish I could ignore

I reach inside

and pull the vulnerability 

out of me

spike my poetry with it

and force-feed it down the throats

of my friends

in hopes of a little validation

I wish it were not so easy

to crave external validation

But I am here

in this world

in a home

my stomach soft and full

a womb I place palms upon

for the children it may one day cradle

my hand dancing with pen

until the thoughts have all been spent

I am here

hair fresh and scented like raspberry

a soft towel to pat it dry

bedroom a little messy

but warm

and almost entirely mine

There are good things around me

all of the time

I still find devastation

grasping at my feet

still feel my lungs struggle

to catch the breath

stolen by both laughter

and grief

There is a little girl in me

who knows nothing more

than her page

the microphone she wants to kiss onstage

and the rage

she’s spent her life

trying to escape

And I intend

to show her a way out

or at least

a way to put it down

I am here

I am alive

I am breathing

And how blessed I am

to be here

in a clean space

with friends to listen to my musings

to be soft-stomached

and rosy-cheeked

when others are not

I think 

I have to confess

this world, this life

can sometimes feel like a place

I am supposed to hold 

and in the midst

of all this pain

i intend to stay.

23:13pm – 30/05/25.