Knew a man when a boy from a train, fell on the rail spilled his brain
His mother tucked it in, held with a handkerchief tied under his chin
With animals he would play, they talked to him throughout the day
When older he was sent to war, where from him his sanity they tore
Treated him with medicine, ECT and shocks of insulin
From the military discarded, by humanity a liability regarded
Chances of romance slim, found a woman forty years older to take care of him
Her three granddaughters age three to ten got him to drink again
A voice from his empty bottle, telling him the girls to throttle
Sealed by a pact of fire water, the whole group he did slaughter
Dead bodies he did rape, not thinking of escape
Called the police, crime to admit, said the devil made him do it
Sentenced to die in the chair, he was saved by a hair when the death penalty was on repeal
Fulfilling the devil's deal, living a life sentence behind bars of steel,
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Author:
sorenbarrett (
Offline) - Published: July 14th, 2025 03:32
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 47
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy, Friendship, Bella Shepard, Tristan Robert Lange
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Comments12
Hello, your sense of internal rhythmic structure is excellent and you weave a compelling narrative whilst maintaining the cadence and stocatto of your rhyme. Well done on a macabre and interesting piece of poetic work, Sincerely, Elizabeth Moroz
Thank you Elizabeth for your read and kind words of comment about this person from the past. It is deeply appreciated
It’s is my sincere pleasure. Thoroughly enjoyable and deserved, Elizabeth
Wow a hair raising story.Well told with clever rhyme structure.Excellent writing mi amigo
Thanks so much David for your review and kind words of support they are always most appreciated.
Your poem explores the tragic descent into madness and violence of a man who is shaped by trauma, mental illness, and societal neglect. It portrays a dark narrative of how childhood experiences, compounded by war and psychological treatment, lead to horrific actions and eventual imprisonment. The poet serves as a critique of how society treats those with mental illness and the consequences of neglect and dehumanization. It raises questions about responsibility, the effects of trauma, and the complexities of human behavior when influenced by factors beyond one's control.
"There is an ironic twist in how the man, who is a victim of his circumstances, becomes a perpetrator of violence.
Thank you Friendship for your interpretation and understanding. Are we all victims or masters of our fate? Do we have choices and if not why do we punish others? To greater or lessor degrees we all suffer injuries and rebuffs who are we to judge the actions of others? Are we all not victims and perpetrators?
Your have God gifted poetic power, your rhyming scheme is beautiful
You displayed the harsh reality of social system through this poetry
You are most generous. Your kind words make the day brighter. They are most appreciated
A dark joke. They was gonna send KP to the 'chair' but all her botox made the wiring blow a fuse! lol.
Lucky for her. Thanks Orchi for the read and comment appreciate it
She melted though. She's a blob now - when wasn't she a blob? lol.
This poem tells tragicaly of the misery human beings live with, and the destructive power it can have. A life that never seemed to have a chance, confined within a cell of regret. A sad story, honestly and well told.
Sad indeed when I saw him in his cell he would vacillate from crying to ranting talking with the devil. Thanks so much Bell for reading and your comment it is most appreciated.
Too wild to be untrue, it’s elements a poem would not subdue but made to sparkle thru however great the topic to rue.
True indeed a character that I would sit with in his cell while he conversed with the devil that I couldn't see. Thanks for the read and comment Cryptic
Oh like that movie where Mel Gibson and Sean Penn teaming up for groundwork the first Oxford English Dictionary 🙏🏻🕊️
Your 'Crazy Sonnet' is haunting and raw, gripping with its dark narrative and unflinching imagery. The relentless rhythm mirrors the protagonist's descent into madness, leaving a chilling impact. A stark, unforgettable piece.
Thank you Mottakeemur for the review of this piece and your intuitive view of it. A man I once met and sat with. Your words appreciated
A tale of a man whose fall into the world of madness and violence was never of his own making , his path was decided the day he had the accident, nicely expressed and written
Thank you Tobani for your attention to this detail of whether we are of free will or destiny and how that affects the punishments we receive. Your remarks are deeply appreciated my friend.
You are very welcome
Very clever write soren.
Andy
Unpleasant but true none the less. Thank you Andy for the read and comment.
This one stares straight into the abyss and doesn’t blink, my dear friend. You’ve taken madness, war, trauma, and horror and laid it bare in relentless rhythm. It's disturbing, yes, but also deeply human in its descent. Not for the faint of heart, but masterfully rendered, Soren. 🌹👏 A must fave for me.
Thank you my dear friend for your review and most touching remarks. And so I felt when I met this man a broken soul discarded in a human landfill awaiting to be buried.
Oh my! Soren,
This is hard and as raw as it can get. Of a life from a head injury to a prison cell and the complete and utter shocking and horrific awfulness in between. A man possessed - to condemn or to understand, the latter; most difficult as one's concentration is centred on the the terrible history of the prisoner, with time one remembers the victims; the three young girls murdered and then to commit the crime of necrophilia, impossible to stomach. A hard-hitting poem, shot from the hip with the power that only a true poet can express. Excellent!
Wishing you the very best,
Tony.
Thank you Tony for yu review of piece of history dug from my past. A pathetic soul that would talk to the devil while I was with him. Your support is cherished and your words highly valued. Have a great day
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