Sorting out Santa

orchidee

Yes, I'll sort out Santa

I'll get the better of him this year

That's for sure!

Cos I hates Christmas morning

Always have to spend it

Cleaning up the lounge

Cos it's full of soot

From when he comes down the chimney

 

Don't ask me how

That fat beardy bloke does it

Maybe the reindeer and sledge

Comes down the chimney too?

 

I'll fix him

l'll keep a fire going all night

That'll send him back up the chimney

He can just drop the presents

At our front door!

Heehee

  • Author: orchidee (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 26th, 2025 02:10
  • Comment from author about the poem: How to sort out Santa. lol.
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 41
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Comments +

Comments11

  • sorenbarrett

    As a child I asked my parents how Santa was going to get down the chimney with a fire going and was told that he had a pass key to the front door. I always wondered after that if that was why there so many burglaries because Santa lost his pass keys or lent them out to naughty elves. See what trouble you get into as a parent spreading these stories. Good write Orchi

  • Demar Desu

    LOL

    • orchidee

      Thank you D. lol.

    • arqios

      So who first used the Ch- word this year?! 🎄

      • orchidee

        Thank you A. lol. Argh! I said the word.

      • Doggerel Dave

        High time you got central heating, Son. I know you've been around a long time, you just haven't caught up.

        No doubt about it - how can it be when a bloke living on the other side of the earth has to advise some poor soul how to keep warm when this Antipodean doesn't need a fire or central heating?

        • Tristan Robert Lange

          🤣

          • orchidee

            Thank you D. I gotta keep the old-fashioned fire to put the wind up Santa. lol. How's that Winter going there?

            • Doggerel Dave

              Antarctic. about to go bankrupt on account of my electricity bills (lovely brand new flash heater).

            • Jerry Reynolds

              Now OD, he is just going to leave you coal for that fire.

              • orchidee

                Thank you J. lol.

              • Bella Shepard

                I'm glad to see you're getting a head start this year. It's always best to be prepared. Make sure to have plenty of wood for the fireplace. Another fun write!

                • orchidee

                  Thank you B. Yes lol, starting early this year. He won't catch me out this year.

                • James Michael

                  I think I saw him deliver a package to my front door recently with a blue shirt on. Lots of stuff in his four wheel sled. Musta ran low on dough with his other gig!

                  Good un!

                  • orchidee

                    Thank you JM. Yes, he probably has a Rolls-Royce now, and gives the reindeer a rest.

                  • Goldfinch60

                    THAT C WORD IS NOT ALLOWED YET ORCHI !!!!!! 😒😖😭

                    • orchidee

                      Argh! I've started mentioning it. lol.

                    • Tristan Robert Lange

                      Wait, you’re sorting out who now? Satan?🔥🤪

                      • orchidee

                        Thank you T. Oops, could be, if it was a typo!

                      • rrodriguez

                        I go with the front door, too... Funny!

                        • orchidee

                          Thank you R. lol. Yes, how does he get own the chimney?!

                        • rrodriguez



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