Made of Wood

orchidee

Now look, who watches this rubbish?

Eastenders or Neighbours for example

Or other ghastly soap operas

Of course, they're all real

So many believe - Doh!

'Soap' gets in ya eyes, and that's a fact

 

If there was a fire in their neighbourhood

They would all turn to ashes quickly

Cos of the wooden acting

 

Watching them is as bad

As a evening of KP's photo albums

Who can bear these things?

Why are they allowed?

Why are they not arrested for false pretences

Pretending to act, that is?!

I thought I was still watching 'The Woodentops'

Now they really were puppets made of wood

 

I must know these things

Matters of major importance - lol.

 

Oh I dunno, is Bouncer the dog still in Neighbours?

And is Wellard the dog still in Eastenders?

They were the last time I saw these soaps

About 100 years ago?

Well, I watched the soaps then

Cos they were the best actors in it

And they were Fido's friends

LOL

 

 

  • Author: orchidee (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 18th, 2025 02:16
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 22
  • Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange
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Comments +

Comments7

  • sorenbarrett

    Good one Orchi. Used to watch those things but swore off years ago and my hair started to grow back, I lost weight, stomach problems got better, no more kidney stones, and cancer went into remission.

    • orchidee

      Thank you SB.

      • sorenbarrett

        You are welcome Orchi

      • Doggerel Dave

        You are far too young to have endured the Archers and PC49...

        • orchidee

          Thank you D. lol.

        • arqios

          Wooden? 🤗

          • orchidee

            Thank you A. lol.

          • Tristan Robert Lange

            Haha, Orchi, this one carries bite! The way you tore into the soaps while still sneaking in that humor — brilliant. And Popeye’s arms? Erm…don’t answer that! Reminds me of a night trapped watching a full-on Hollyoaks marathon…help! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

            • orchidee

              Agh! There's TV channels 'binge episodes' of some programmes - back-to-back episodes. I don't know if soap operas are included. But, yep, we can watch ALL Popeye episodes. lol.

            • Goldfinch60

              I have watched Coronation Street in the past Orchi but that was when Ena Sharples was in it. LOL

              • orchidee

                Yes, lol, probably about the last time I saw it properly. lol.

              • Fína Elara 🌙 Petra Patrice

                This piece is humorous, satirical, and playful, poking fun at soap operas and the exaggeration of dramatic acting. Nicely written.

                • orchidee

                  Thank you FE. lol.

                • NafisaSB

                  in some of the soaps we see, the actors are truly hamming it up there
                  enjoyed your take on it...

                  • orchidee

                    Thank you N. lol.



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