Made of Wood

Now look, who watches this rubbish?

Eastenders or Neighbours for example

Or other ghastly soap operas

Of course, they're all real

So many believe - Doh!

'Soap' gets in ya eyes, and that's a fact

If there was a fire in their neighbourhood

They would all turn to ashes quickly

Cos of the wooden acting

Watching them is as bad

As a evening of KP's photo albums

Who can bear these things?

Why are they allowed?

Why are they not arrested for false pretences

Pretending to act, that is?!

I thought I was still watching 'The Woodentops'

Now they really were puppets made of wood

I must know these things

Matters of major importance - lol.

Oh I dunno, is Bouncer the dog still in Neighbours?

And is Wellard the dog still in Eastenders?

They were the last time I saw these soaps

About 100 years ago?

Well, I watched the soaps then

Cos they were the best actors in it

And they were Fido's friends

LOL