‘Wake up in the morning, to breakfast I go.
To accompany me in my endeavours,
Meet the world: I turn on the radio;
News so depressing, it gives me the shivers:
If not war its homelessness – you know that stuff
All inflicted on us by foreigners.
They push in and make life far too tough.
For them, own bulletin separate from the others:
All Ordinaries; ASX two hundred;
Reserve bank cuts rate one quarter percent.
Gold steady; the S and P five hundred…
And on and on it goes without relent.
What language is this? I don't understand,
Sounds like English but it don’t make no sense;
They even speak in code – let’s get them banned -
Foreigners out with their English pretense…
-
Author:
Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 23rd, 2025 01:39
- Comment from author about the poem: Anyone else got examples of this obscurantist financial jargon to entertain me with? Might rewrite the penultimate stanza.....
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 14
- Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange
Offline)
Comments4
I could probably give ya a NS example. Summat non-sequitur, that is. That's nothing new there then. I'll waffle on for 500 words or so. lol.
Go for it man - it just conceivably might make more sense to me than all them BF's...
Since when did I make more sense than anyone else?! lol.
Oh I dunno - plenty of madness and idiocy out there.....
More nutty people outside the loony bin than in it?
Absloute one hundred percent twenty two carat gold truth you are sharing there.
Just send me your million quid, I will invest it for you in a bit of a coin.
Desmond tells me it's like monopoly on Viagra.
At some point it does go down.
Down to where exactly? However far down it might have allegedly gone it neva reached my level....
Dave, this cracked me up and stung at the same time. The satire’s sharp, the financial-speak alienation lands, and it feels true to that daily grind of tuning in but being shut out. A witty and biting piece, my friend...but, of course, you forgot the classics: ‘Quantitative easing adjusted for liquidity shocks in the derivatives market with hedged volatility swaps’. 🤯 Sounds impressive, means sod all. Foreigners out, indeed… 😂🌹🖤🙏🕯️
Thanks for that Tristan. You know, there are some statements collected over history which have provided sources of comfort and faith throughout the ages. This particular example of yours, I think we can both agree, ain’t gonna be one of ‘em.
Could be a rib tickler if it wasn’t so serious….
👌Spot on.
Have no idea as to what these moronic idiots are talking about nowadays in terms of money, they are out to confuse us all and just to get money themselves, they don't care about real people any more.
Andy
Whole different world out there, Andy. Hope they don't collide too violently?
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