With friends like me......
....... who needs enemies?!
I'm a gloom and doom merchant
If ya depressed, just meet me
And you'll feel worse! lol.
Woof! says Fido
This is not even a poem, just an excuse for one!
Now what ya gonna tell us, he asks
Well, cheer up - you gloomy today?
It's OK - tomorrow could be worse!
I'm terribly pessimistic -
When one door opens......
Another one slams in ya face!
Dunno why ya complain
About comedy shows on TV
Where are they? There ain't any on TV now
It's all 'so-called' comedy
And be sure to get to bed
Before those 'lovely' stand-up comedian shows!
Poem gets 'darker'.......
Suicide? Ooh, I dunno, it's bad for me health!
And will it hurt?
I'll play Russian Roulette with ya, with my rules
I only leave one gun chamber empty! heehee.
I would invite ya to tea and cake
But none of ya would turn up
I'm the worst 'friend' ever! LOL.
Woof! Mark this 18+ says Fido!
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Author:
orchidee (
Offline) - Published: January 16th, 2026 03:31
- Comment from author about the poem: Woof! says Fido. My Master is downcast, so he don't see why you should be happy! (lol).
- Category: Humor
- Views: 22
- Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange
Offline)
Comments6
Just a bit of the doldrums here Orchi. Stale weather? I always appreciated dark humor but then I love storm clouds Thomas Hardy and Dostoevsky are favorite authors, always love Poe as well. They say it's always darkest just before the dawn well I say it is always darkest just before it gets darker. A fun read my friend with all this darkness you cheered up my day
Thank you SB. lol.
Howl of ravening wolves in the night, dead horse's head in yer bed, toilet blocked and overflowing electricity black out and damp matches won't light a candle - cheer up, it could be worse.....
Thank you D. lol.
Why so downcast O our souls... Friends and poems and Fido... a hymn or 10 and then we ARE again. Never too far away, O. Right here. 🕊️🙏
Thank you A.
Most welcome, O🙏🏻🕊️
Orchi, this is classic you. Self-roasting pessimism, Fido chiming in, Russian Roulette rules rewritten, and comedy shows that aren’t funny anymore. It’s the Baters’ millionth Brolly-night special on the telly…and somehow that’s NOT the end. Lord help us! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thank you T. lol. A million? Swoon! lol.
LOL! That's a lot of swooning! LOL! How many concussions is the question! LOL!
I saw their million programmes but never got to the end of even one of them, cos I swooned! lol.
LOL! Oh...that must've been right after the opening credits! 🤣
No matter how sad we get happiness is always there for us Orchi.
Andy
Yes, thank you Gold. 🙂
I absolutely love how random it seems but when read again actually has a perception to it. I consider myself a realist, so yes pessimistic in most eyes. And tv does suck nowadays. Too much drama and not enough laughs. Im all for dark humor, and uhh yikes the stuff streaming nowadays sucks. Lol hi nice to meet another really awful friend LOL 😆
Thank you TP. lol. Here's a quiz - ooh! 'Since when was [insert name of a so-called comedian] funny?'
Gabriel Iglesias? Lol
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