You thought you’d heard it all with flannel;
Well as it turns out you are very wrong.
Equivalence is present – ring the bell;
Flatulence delivers nothing with a song.
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Author:
Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: January 22nd, 2026 23:26
- Comment from author about the poem: And so it be: The two terms in the context I would use them, are perfectly equivalent. End of this topic? You can hope so….. (I should have left it alone – I intended to write a serious one on flatulence one day...)
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 48
- Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange, Cheeky Missy
Offline)
Comments6
It can be tuneful sometimes Dave. LOL
Andy
A worthy observation, Andy.
On your last topic being an old fart that wears flannel in the winter and sheds it in the summer I was latter shocked to find what I had been doing now with equivalent ignorance I stand baffled about political correctness, I never was much for political correctness anyway people are people I make no distinction.
To me flatulence is the speech of politicians.
Emergency improvisation there, Soren. Well done.
Sometime a long time ago I witnessed a tooting of the alphabet song 🤣🙏🏻🕊️
Not venturing into the world of Le Pétomane are you? Not where I'm going, but a fun diversion none the less.
My friend, this cracked me up. The mock-formal tone paired with the subject is exactly what makes it land. Deadpan silliness done right. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Yes – thanks for that, Tristan. It has left me with a problem, however. I have held for the longest time now a strongly held ambition to write a deeply serious piece on flatulence interspersed with gravity and dignity. I now believe I am forced to hold it in (???) to avoid contamination from the slight piece above…..
🤣 LOL! I hope the holding isn't too painful, my friend!
Life is full of its little trials.....
Supportive as always, Tristan - many thanks.
For sure! You're welcome, my friend!
"Beans, beans,/The musical fruit/ The more you eat/ The more you toot!
Peanut butter and jelly/Makes them smelly/Clam chowder/makes them louder." Good old flatulence, ahem. One of my brothers informed me years ago that if you're righteous your flatulence has no odor. I have particularly noxious flatulence, ergo, I'll not subscribe to his doctrine.
Lovely little quatrain to the rousing topic, beautifully rendered. Thank you very much for sharing.
I have to let you know that in this I am with your brother one hundred percent. Now while mine sound like a slightly out of tune Harley Davidson (I haven't acquired all that chrome, I promise) they are completely odourless. This, however I cannot attribute to righteousness on my part, but to strict vegetarianism. I have considered the placement of a patent on my bum as an air recycler. Any advice would be gratefully received.
Your starting verse adds a new dimension to this topic, BTW.
My late father and his brother apparently decided the second and third verses are entirely of their own invention. All I know is that's what we were taught to "sing" and did, for all the legumes we eat routinely.
Gastronomic infatuations would seem to have been a feature of your family of origin, Missy. Feels as if deep down there was a vegetarian tendency seeking to reveal itself......
Mistakenly believing we were at least vegetarian, I eventually looked up the permutations of that and of vegans to learn I'm nothing of the sort. I love beef too much to be labled anything beginning with a "v."
Definitely going to do a quick sidestep on the ‘V’ And attempt to maintain a neutral position there.
Well I feel really sad for the cows and this for me has made your response a slight downer. However on the bright side you have made a clear distinction between vegetarianism and veganism. This demonstrates an understanding for which I am very grateful – I eat quantities of cheese and am not adverse to shellfish when it comes my way. How else am I able to maintain the strength and fortitude to respond positively to those who feel the need to debate my posts? Many thanks.
Me loves cheese and beef, and salmon but there I'm a tad lazy and haven't prepared a decent salmon meal in over a year. But I love to eat.
Not going to pass judgement, when I'm hardly eating at all. Lost appetite as it's too hot here so survive on mostly fruit cheese and nuts (chewed thoroughly).
Thanks for an animated dialogue on matters alimentary. Take care of yourself.
You likewise!
Ahem. My bad, if any of my brothers or my cousins see this tetê-a-teté they'll kill me--I forgot half the original verse!
Correction:
V1
Beans, beans the musical fruit/
The more you eat, the more you toot/
The more you toot, the better you feel!
So eat your beans every meal!
V2 [?]
Peanut butter and jelly/
Makes them smelly/
Clam chowder makes them louder.
My apologies for misrepresenting it initially.
Post it please! It is too good to lie buried at the bottom of one of my scribbles. Attribute it whatever which way you like, but get it out there. Evidence of depth and versatility. New dimensions to the digestive process.
Great stuff.
Oh, alright...
'You are out there and free - what a relief that must be, Missy. Thanks for keeping the faith.'
(Addition to your public post)
message has significance for me as i am undergoing neurotherapy for acidity, and the therapist insists i burp or fart as much as possible...lol...
Originally, I say originally this was a (perish the thought) metaphor for poetry which signified nothing (seem to be stuck on one theme here !) However it seems (see above) to have transmuted into a supplementary support post for all things dietetic. So where do you want to take this?
i would say carry it forward to dietic support as health is of more concern at this age and poetry [at least for me] comes second] though i would prefer it to take the lead..
Over to you then - Carry on Burping....
Take care.
(Safer to burp, I think as you could find problems with the other, as a Lady of Refinement might run into difficulties if not well practised.....)
good rejoinder...will take your advice
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