What's left

sorenbarrett

I smoked all my memories, now burnt out in ash
I've spent all my dreams purchased with cash
I drank my love wildly from a cheap label
Sleeping off life's banquet under a coffin lid table

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Comments +

Comments14

  • Atticus_made

    I can't say I fully understand it yet, I haven't been in these situations. However, I imagine if I would have been, I would be able to write a better comment! A great poem as always!

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you Atticus for the read and comment when you reach the end of your years it will become plainer. I appreciate your frankness

    • orchidee

      Good write SB.

      • sorenbarrett

        Thanks Orchi for the read and comment as always it is most appreciated

        • orchidee

          What's left? Left overs - for KP! lol.

          • sorenbarrett

            All the good stuff was taken now just bones

          • Michael Edwards

            Well I'm in my 80s and this sure resonates - great write.

            • sorenbarrett

              Thanks so much Michael for your review and understanding it is as always deeply appreciated

            • Doggerel Dave

              Brilliant - not a metaphor in sight . could well appear on... someone's....tombstone....☺️

              • sorenbarrett

                Thanks Dave you sly old dog your cynicism is as rare as my metaphors. I have to say your reviews make my day. God help me I love you for who you are my friend. I mean that sincerely

                • Doggerel Dave

                  I will struggle on, I assure you Soren.

                  Take care.

                • Friendship

                  Good write.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thanks so much my friend it is appreciated

                  • Thomas W Case

                    The grit sticks to your teeth in this one—ash, cash, cheap wine—like life’s rough edges gnawing at the soul.
                    Even under that coffin lid, there’s a pulse left, a crooked heartbeat daring to keep counting.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks so much Thomas your words lift that lid a little and let in a ray of sunlight. It is appreciated

                    • Syd

                      Brilliant 👏

                      I love this.

                      - Syd 🍄

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thanks so much Syd for the read and comment it is deeply valued and most important to me

                      • Waiting for Silence

                        what left is
                        body without soul
                        heart without feelings
                        life without "LIFE"

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thanks for the read and comment yes indeed that is what happens to us as we age. You are most appreciated

                        • Tristan Robert Lange

                          Soren, this carries a sharp, stripped-down reflection…burned memories, spent dreams, and that final image of resting beneath a coffin lid table. It’s not subtle…it’s direct, and that’s what gives it its power. It reads like aftermath, not illusion. Strong piece, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks so much Tristan You are most kind to notice. Appreciate your comment

                          • arqios

                            I’ve had my share of sleeping under the table both in play when younger and out of it in many more ways than is fit to remember. It can be said though that it’s always better with sheets🕊️🙏🏻

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks my friend so true it is. Sheets and a mattress make it much more pleasant and in a place where the dog won't lick your face.

                              • arqios

                                Ah true! I missed that part due to an allergy from fur.🕊️🙏🏻

                              • Teddy.15

                                💜

                                • sorenbarrett

                                  Thanks so much Teddy its appreciated

                                • Kevin Hulme

                                  # Always look on the Bright side of life#
                                  A short poem, but so much said.
                                  Enjoyed.

                                  • sorenbarrett

                                    Thank you Kevin for your review and kind words of support they are most valued

                                  • Goldfinch60

                                    But not yet soren.

                                    Andy

                                    • sorenbarrett

                                      Thanks so much Andy for the review and encouragement. No not yet

                                    • Vipassana

                                      very nice poem

                                      Sleeping off life's banquet under a coffin lid table

                                      great line

                                      • sorenbarrett

                                        Thank you so much for your kind words Vipassana



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