Candy Bars

sorenbarrett

Removing a wrapper of seduction there lay a heart of obstruction
The sugar coating on the kiss melted into bitterness
A sweet delectable taste became a sour revolting waste
Two mounds on top that looked about to pop
A top seller at her game, bitter chocolate was her name
A rounded butt, all hiding a brain that was a nut

Comments +

Comments11

  • Paul Bell

    Come into my web said the spider to the fly.
    Men will go into that web in a minute, and we know why.
    Does that make us dumb, desperate, not saying.
    It's a fav.

    • sorenbarrett

      Thanks so much Paul I do very much appreciate your take on this piece. Yes we often think with the wrong end in mind and better men than I have been taken down that rabbit hole.

    • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

      Femme fatale

    • soheil khodaparasti

      A striking comparison of physical attraction and inner reality, using food imagery to create a cynical, satirical, and provocative tone.

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you my friend for the review and comment. Yes indeed what is a first sight deemed sweet may not be so underneath. I appreciate your interpretation Soheil

        • soheil khodaparasti

          My pleasure, my friend.

        • arqios

          There is much politics and powerplay in human relations and some use/abuse/misuse their wiles to whatever advantage or gain they aim at. And many willingly play even in the direst of odds. Perhaps it’s related to the old adage of everything being fair in love and war. 👍🏻🕊️

          • sorenbarrett

            Well put Cryptic I guess all is fair in war as well as desire but love no, not if it is love. Thanks so much my friend for the read and comment it is most appreciated.

            • arqios

              I must agree there with love being code for desire. Weaponisation of desire is quite documented throughout history as well.

              • sorenbarrett

                So true

              • orchidee

                Good write SB.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks so much Orchi I appreciate it

                • Kevin Hulme

                  Nice One. A Chocolate bar being a good discripion. I fancy a nibble now.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thanks Kevin for the review and comment always appreciated my friend.

                    • Kevin Hulme

                      My Pleasure.🍫

                    • Tristan Robert Lange

                      My friend, this is playful, sharp, and thoroughly unapologetic. The candy-shop conceit carries the reader from physical temptation into complete disillusionment...with a wonderfully wicked finish. Great write! 🍫🍬😂🙏

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you my friend you got it and that is gratifying enough but your kind words were the icing on the cake. Appreciated Tristan

                      • Goldfinch60

                        Some candy bars can bring lust to us which can lead us to disaster Soren.

                        Andy

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thanks a lot Andy for the read and wise comment they are appreciated.

                        • RSM0812

                          And went insane?????

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks for the read and comment. Already was nuts

                          • maydanae

                            The way you describe a fling turned foe is quite amusing; as much subtlety in this poem as there are coco beans in white chocolate, certainly a fun read

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thank you Maydanae for the read and kind comment of support it is most appreciated

                            • GenXer Sharon 🙏🍀

                              lol 😂 great write .

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thanks Sharon for the read of this older piece your support means a lot to me.



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