don’t mean to harp
but i love
Bob Harper,
think he’s hot—dope—
saw all his wannabe haters
dang, dang,
dangling on a rope.
media hagites—
social sores—
judge a heart’s value
over a goddamn hill.
here, though,
is the bitter pill—
the hater-taters
are just pixelite swill.
© 2026 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.
First published on tristanrobertlange.com, September 24, 2026.
Tittu
+++
Coming next Macabre Monday:
DEVILISHLY DREADFUL
Saint Sorebones
on September 28, 2026
-
Author:
Tristan Robert Lange (
Offline) - Published: September 24th, 2026 08:23
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 10
- In collections: Truth, Applied.
Offline)
Comments6
Have to say Tristan that I know nothing about him since I watch next to no 'TV and haven't ventured into that area he promotes. Not a vegan or into training anymore. Well written and expresses the feeling well.
Soren, haha...you actually know more of Bob’s résumé than I did when I wrote this. 🤣 I only knew him from Season 3 of The Traitors, where he was recovering from a recent heart attack and got absolutely hammered online after struggling with a brutal hill challenge. That ugliness was really what set this poem off for me. 😏😂⚡🙏
I used to watch series in the old days but with the advent of reality TV and low budget programs stopped watching almost altogether. Besides the ads are so long that I forget the show by the time they get back to it. What used to be an hour program is now only thirty minutes if you take out the ads.
ah what to do with haters... they influence us too! And with everything accessible at all times and everywhere, exacerbates it all. 🙏🏻🕊️
Arqios, exactly...that constant access makes it hard to just shrug the ugliness off and move on. It follows us around now. 😏😂⚡🙏
It wearies me no end. Cortisol spikes and BP surges.🙏🏻🕊️
I also dont know him but you put it crisp and fresh my friend
Norman, absolutely. Bob Harper is a longtime fitness trainer and TV personality, probably best known from The Biggest Loser. I only really knew him from Season 3 of The Traitors, where he was recovering from a recent heart attack. He struggled on one brutal physical challenge involving a steep hill and people online tore into him for it without mercy...that reaction is really what sparked this poem. 😏😂⚡🙏
well done
I've not heard of Lord S....... for next Monday. Does Popeye know him? Dang it, Popeyeus got in again. lol.
Oh, Orchi...“Lord Sorebones” has me grinning already. 😂 You might want to leave room for the possibility that our dear saint is not remotely the gentleman Popeyeus appears to be expecting. Monday may educate him. 😏😂⚡🙏
Had to Google Bob Harper. I assume it the same fella. Once TV Fitness guy.
Haters ? A Pain in the Nether- Regions.
Kevin, yep, that’s the same Bob Harper. 😂 And “pain in the nether-regions” is about as charitable a description of haters as I can manage. 😏😂⚡🙏
Dude, what I love is the photo, your lines a lovely accompaniment. Thank you so very much for sharing.
Missy, haha...I’m glad the photo stole the show. 😂 I’ll happily accept supporting-act status on this one. 😏😂⚡🙏
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