Hurts to pray

(Chorus)

I just don’t know why

I live this way

The only thing I know

Is that it hurts 2 pray

I don’t know why

My thoughts exist

The thing I wonder most

Will I truly be missed?

Growing up thinking life was great

I never thought it was something

In time that I would come 2 h8

8 years old

I started getting pain drives

Then I found out

Where mommy kept the sharp knives

Digging in2 my skin

I never really cried

But it never amounted 2 anything

From the pain I felt inside

Maybe if I cut on the out

I wouldn’t feel so bad on the in

Got even worse

When mom and dad found the marks on my skin

I could make up a few stories

But I bet they really knew

That their one and only son

Had some shit that he was going through

I never asked 4 help

But within it was something I knew I needed

And I had 2 have it soon

B4 I had committed my plan and succeeded

Starting Jr. High

Nobody knew me

I saw a lot of people

But people saw right through me

Teens still wanted 2 b kids

So they would pick on the quiet kid

Why choose me?

Is there anything that I did?

(Chorus)

I graduated the 8^th grade

On 2 my freshman year

Joined on2 3 sport teams

So maybe some could see I am here

All of this and school waz 2 much

No time 2 study

Old habits never left

So my hidden scars stayed bloody

Met a couple new friends

All knew how I would feel

How come I can hear but not c u?

R U truly real?

My thoughts never raced

They sprinted

So many images in my head

Forever stayed imprinted

No idea what 2 do

Nowhere 2 turn

So I just held it all in

And let my emotions burn

Too many hospital visits

So they sent me all the way across the st8

Level 14 and locked down

All just 2 set my mind str8

8 months passed

And I left with a smile

But they sent me 2 a group home

Isn’t that pretty fucking hostile?

Thought this whole, time that I was happy

But memories never let go

My heart was so cold

Sometimes I would sweat snow

(Chorus)

Introduced 2 Marijuana

It was relaxing at first

Then it went from the bad

All the way 2 the worst

Homies say that that they got you

Anything that U need

I earned my respect

And smoked phat sacks of weed

Earning respect

Was fighting and stealing

I waz good at it

But couldn’t stand what I was feeling

Got off of the weed

It was old 2 get high

But the combination with my meds

Made me feel like I want to die

I was doing good 4 a change

I quit the green plants

Come time when I was asleep

My roommates’ hand was down my pants

I don’t like being touched

Like that in the first place

Put on some boxing gloves

 So not 2 leave any marks on his face

Went home the same day

But I only felt worse

My life never got better

How come I couldn’t reverse?

I thought all of this

Would give me time 2 rearrange

I came 2 find out

That life sometimes can never change

(Chorus *2)