Take my Hand?

dbremner

In the stillness of the evening

Would you take me by the hand?

And search together for a place

Where we may understand

 

The feelings that consume us

Each and every day

That draw us close together

And make me long to stay

 

Close by your side forever

To dry the tears you cry

So take my hand, my loved one

We owe it now to try.

  • Author: dbremner (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 24th, 2010 16:26
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 23
  • Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
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Comments +

Comments1

  • Cheeky Missy

    Oh, I LOVE the sentiment in this one.....it is so VERY sweet!
    I can picture it, and feel it; it's such a softly enticing entreaty. Who could resist it?
    Now, I'll tell you frankly why I'm not giving you a "10"......your syllable count/metre is nearly perfect, with an 8,7 or 8,6 count, which are my favourite choices for quatrains....and, oh I hate to say this.....but, you were off count a little and the rythm was not perfect as a result. La, please forgive me.....I do not mean to criticize or be offensive but push for a higher mark.....

    • dbremner

      Thanks, I don't mind at all. I see what you mean now that I looked at it again. Constructive comments are always welcome, that way we help one another.



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