In the stillness of the evening
Would you take me by the hand?
And search together for a place
Where we may understand
The feelings that consume us
Each and every day
That draw us close together
And make me long to stay
Close by your side forever
To dry the tears you cry
So take my hand, my loved one
We owe it now to try.
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Author:
dbremner (
Offline) - Published: November 24th, 2010 16:26
- Category: Love
- Views: 23
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
Offline)
Comments1
Oh, I LOVE the sentiment in this one.....it is so VERY sweet!
I can picture it, and feel it; it's such a softly enticing entreaty. Who could resist it?
Now, I'll tell you frankly why I'm not giving you a "10"......your syllable count/metre is nearly perfect, with an 8,7 or 8,6 count, which are my favourite choices for quatrains....and, oh I hate to say this.....but, you were off count a little and the rythm was not perfect as a result. La, please forgive me.....I do not mean to criticize or be offensive but push for a higher mark.....
Thanks, I don't mind at all. I see what you mean now that I looked at it again. Constructive comments are always welcome, that way we help one another.
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