Unhope

Unhope
-by MVB

Sometimes I descend
From the solitary and austere heights
Of the barren, icy skies
To warm up my soul again
With the completion of your face
And to recharge
The energy of the desperate love
That I carry inside of me.

Which still keeps me hoping
Still keeps me wanting
Keeps me alive.

I try with my tears
To water once in a while
The seed of love
Which I secretly planted
Inside your heart
With hopes
That you will not discover it prematurely
And you will not pull it out
Before it grows fully inside of you
Trusting that when
It will overwhelm you
It will be too late
For you to uproot it
And to throw it away.

I am hurt by hope
I am tortured by desire
I stumble and often fall down
Exhausted by the repeated
Unanswered knocks
At the door of your heart
And I get up wounded
From trying so hard and from the pain.

Sometimes I feel helpless
When I know I can’t offer you
What you need
Or that maybe you’re already getting it
From another.

And then I descend again
From the abandoned heights
Of the expelled stars
To look at you once more
At least to fill myself
With the sublimity of your being
And again I remain amazed
At your perfection
And I can’t hold back
A sad smile.

But you
Never see me…