6th grade. The year I started questioning my sexuality.
2. I spent 2 years trying to conform to "normality."
700. I cried myself to sleep for 700 days.
42. The amount of times I was told "it's just a phase."
682. The amount of times I prayed to change who I am.
682. Also the amount of times I believed I would be damned.
103. I had 103 nightmares about people calling me a "dyke."
Waking up in tears and feared being disliked
389. How many times I've heard homophobic comments.
Every time I heard them I just wanted to vomit.
December 16. The day I got my first girlfriend.
38. The amount ot times I was afraid something bad would happen if I held her hand.
22. How many times I've contemplated self-harm
0. Luckily, I have 0 scars on my arm.
June 12. The day of the Orlando Shooting.
June 13. I heard the news and was afraid someone was out to get me.
And everyday I worry about what my parents will think.
Because without their acceptance I'll have a missing link.
16. The amount of times I was told that I was going to hell.
Making me wish I could push them down a freaking well.
Because you don't understand how I feel inside.
I'm afraid of you. And I'm afraid to show my pride.
-
Author:
sandysheep (
Offline) - Published: June 16th, 2016 21:32
- Comment from author about the poem: This is my first time on this website. I decided to share a poem I wrote a while ago. Hope you enjoy it!
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 13
Offline)
Comments1
WELCOME SANDY ~ Thanks for sharing and be PROUD of who you are and of how and whom you love ! This is an open and understanding site and we all love you ~ for being unique and for being you. I enjoyed the openess of your poem despite the pain. The NUMBERS added objective QUANTITY to the excellent QUALITY of the Poem. It (like you) is unique because it is straight from your loving heart ! We were all stunned about ORLANDO (many Brits have homes there ) and my Prayer is that such a mindless tragedy will make people more empathetic towards the LGBT Community. Every Blessing ~ Yours BRIAN (UK 33)
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.