The wonder in a baby's eye
Gives me the question why,
Why, am i sinking slowly,
Into the deepest holes of my mind,
More and more I begin to feel lonely,
As I distant myself from everything and everyone.
The wonder in a baby's eye,
Gives me a flush of emotion that used to lie,
Brought to the surface once more,
Although I have no clue wether,
They will take me further away from what's making me sore,
To a place I may finally be free from this misery.
I had trouble letting go of what I no longer need,
Holding me back from ever being the lead,
Struggling with the voices in my head,
the constant thoughts spinning out of control,
I fight to find myself in this wonderful world
The constant battle tires me down,
As I'm afraid of always coming across as a clown,
Fearing the hatred of others and myself,
Am I good enough for the goals I give to the world,
Or will i fall deeper into my mind where there is no help,
And all I want is that hand to pull me back.
I fight to feel grounded and not to fly away,
Into the darkest corners of what i won't let lay,
I need an anchor to keep me from losing my mind,
But then again maybe it has already gone,
Somewhere far away that's difficult for me to find,
Close to my finger tips but like smoke it slips through.
But I couldn't be more pleased with who I am,
Learning to accept the mounds that means I can,
Trying my best to give myself that push into the unknown,
Into the hands of another love i fear to loose,
Something that I feel I have been shown,
Something that could be more than those dreams I crave.
I just need to stop self destructing,
And be open to every feeling,
The ugly constant and the beautiful calm,
And everything in between that grey sky,
Learning to shut those thoughts out that causes harm,
That hold me back from ever truly being free.
Once I have a hold of me,
Then I can let go and be free,
To be open to what will make me complete,
Open to the possibility of what I've always wanted,
To be content with what I have and to no longer live in the past of what keeps me from sleep.
-
Author:
River valley (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: June 28th, 2016 19:50
- Comment from author about the poem: Coming to terms with everything in my life was overwhelming and so I had spent 2 weeks half way around the world, I had time to think and once surrounded by nature, only then could I start to come to terms with what I did and what I've been through, so I used the one thing I could to explain it - poetry
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 47
Offline)
Comments1
WELCOME JM ~ and thank you for a beautifully constructed first poem. Love the rhyme pattern aabxbx etc (it adds emphasis) and the poem pulsates with rhythm couched in confession which makes it exhilarating to both read and recite ! It reads very cathartic to me ~ thanks for caring and sharing. The whole of human existence shines from a baby's eye and you have captured that. Love the visual ~ it exemplifies the message of your poem. Our life is a rushing stream and then it plunges "uncontrolled" into the waterfall (one of natures greatest beauties) and then it meanders our again ~ perhaps with a less frenetic flow ? I hope you found the whole poem (as you indicate) cathartic. Love the final stanza "Then I can let go and be free ........ To be content with what I have ~ And to no longer live in the past ~ Of what keeps me from sleep !". Thanks again for caring and sharing ~ Every Blessing ~ BRIAN
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