Somedays are dawg days.
Somedays I can barely bring myself to move.
Today bleeds into tomorrow like paint splashed with thinner,
as it swirls and runs and dissolves.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
One long continuous blur of motions and numbness.
The same, it's always the god damn same.
I feel like I'm trapped in a room.
I can see out windows that do not open. A door forever locked.
I do get lulls in my bland repose.
I drank wine out of a skull with Arthur.
I smoked a joint with Jack.
I cried with Lady Day.
I learned about what it means to be a man from Ernest.
I learned how to make a woman swoon from Leonard.
Me and Frank boozed and staggered.
And I'd forgotten for awhile, the utter hopelessness of it all.
I remembered that life still exists.
It still moves and dances and sings and fucks.
It's found in a car on an open road to everywhere,
in an ocean of music and words and actions,
in war, in blood and death and cries and fury,
in between the sheets with a beautiful woman with legs wrapped around me in desire and wanton affection.
Breathe life into me baby.
Breathe life into this dying man.
Breathe you're sweet hot breath into these ice cold lungs
And feel our sweat between us, salty sweet sweat as I kiss your skin, it coats my lips as I kiss you.
But the air is silent.
Dust settles back into its rightful place.
I lay awake, night after endless night
My brain wracked with guilt,
with fear,
with desire,
with missing you.
Somedays are gone.
I'd blink and whole weeks gone bye.
Hair grays.
Lines run deeper.
Memory fades.
Libido flatlined.
Vision goes...
Oh Christ not that!
Hearing fuzzy..
No No No not that!
Blindness and deafness is for the dead.
I am not dead yet!!!
-
Author:
John Thomas (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 23rd, 2016 04:27
- Comment from author about the poem: When you just don\\\\\\\'t know what to do anymore. And you see the world around you from afar cause it all left you behind.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 48
Offline)
Comments2
Great poem JOHN of the inevitability of MALE AGING and its consequences ! I'm only (DV) one third through my life (33) and already I feel the twinges. Your final stanza reminded me of the culmination of Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man". "Last scene of all that ends this strange eventful history. Is second childishness and mere oblivion ! Sans teeth ~ sans eyes ~ sans taste ~ sans everything. Ladies are different they are growing old disgracefully and still thinking of England "going for GOLD" ! Some of my older Male Friends (60+) seem to cope better and make the most of their dotage. You are not dead ~ yet ~ so CARPE DIEM and make the most of each opportunity ! Thanks for sharing BRIAN. Please check my FUSION ~ MY FAVORITE DRINK ~ thanks.
Brian,
Thank you for the compliments. I like your interpretation. Mainly I was writing about fighting off stagnation and the feeling that everyday was exactly the same. Approaching the big 40, it's put me in a very reflective frame of mind.
I'm glad you liked it. I'll check out your fusion.
Cheers!
Teddy,are you ready?
I breathe into You.😙
Closer.I breathe AGAIN....😚
Ah! Brand NEW Freddy 😇
And Teddy,
1.Is it a Jack Kerouac Week?
2.Last night we listened Tony Bennett:
"The shadow of your smile
When you are gone
Will color all my dreams
And light the dawn...." Nice,eh?😸
Dig it love! I am breathing better now 😊...
Jack is one of my idols. Biggest influence on me and my writing, him and Hemingway.
Love that song.... Astrud Gilberto's version is my favorite though.
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