Nobody truly knows how far I will actually go, just to have someone like me. I will do whatever, be whoever, and go wherever they want. I look for people's approval because I have never approved of myself. A lot of people usually date me or are my friend just because they feel sorry for me. That's not what I want, but it seems that, that's the only way I can get friends lately. I get stared down by people literally EVERYWHERE I go. I'm so fuckin tired of it! I feel like an animal in a cage and my purpose is to entertain the crowd. What kind of sick world am I living in!? People call me ugly, fat, worthless, a slut, and sadly that's not even half of it. I understand it's hard to look away, but don't be fake with me. I'm not stupid... I know I'm not the type of friend that a lot of people want but I can't ever tell who my real friends are these days...
It's hard not being able to let people in, not being able to trust anyone. They don't care about my personality or who I am on the inside, just what I'll be able to give them. I guess I understand because I wouldn't want to be my friend either. I'm always depressed, boring, annoying, and a waste of people's time. I'm definitely different... Nobody truly knows what I think of myself... When I look in the mirror, I see a girl who has no idea of what's going to happen to her. A girl who's so sensitive and scared of friends, of family, but mostly of herself. The scars on her arms shows her what she's capable of doing to herself. But that's not what scares her. What really scares her is, that something bad is going to happen to her again and she'll want to hurt herself more than ever before. No matter how good life is going, it can go so bad, so fast. Sometimes I wish I could put life on pause and embrace the good moments because I don't have a lot of them...
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Author:
Mads (
Offline) - Published: August 27th, 2016 10:46
- Comment from author about the poem: I wrote this about a year ago when I felt like I wanted to die... I was getting bullied everyday, being abused by my ex-boyfriend, and cutting every night. The picture is of me, my little bro(on the left) and my best friend(on the right). They mean so much to me and make me happy.
- Category: Short story
- Views: 39
- Users favorite of this poem: JohnThomas
Offline)
Comments3
I hope you are feeling better about yourself. I think most people want approval of other so badly. I've been there, putting up with anything just to be in good graces.
Another good one Mads!
Wonderful write
Ohhhhh ANGEL another poem driping with pathos ! First let me counter your first paragraph. In my eyes you are Pretty ~ Slim ~ A pearl of great price ~ A wholesome and pristine Girl. I love you Angel for who you are and the great potential you always demonstrate in your writing (love you FUSION POEMS) and your willingness to share your past with us' There's no need to be scared of yourself ANGEL and you don't scare me ! What you need ANGEL is more self belief and more self esteem. Accentuate the POSITIVE and eliminate the NEGATIVE ~ the future can be great for you ! Thinkin' of you 24/7 ~ Love as always ~ BRIAN
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