Be What I Want

Be what I want

Do what I'm trying to do

Make my journals about me

And not about two

You

Come in and out

Yield round abouts of

Intoxicating air whenever you're near….

NO!

This is about me and mine

Creating and completing my life's design

Singing my life song

Don't get me wrong this girl is strong

Just tired…

I'd like to walk away…

From the analyzing, critiquing, wondering - just want it at bay

For a moment of silence

No love noise

Just for awhile - let me try on this disappear style

After all, if what I really came to do

Is help you see & be the universe in you

Then you'll need to be the man in the mirror 

While I step up to the plate - and syndicate

Your show

Let you see it on repeat - Here sit in my seat….

Day 1 - You don't notice b/c it falls within the guidelines

   No true weekend contact - you're fine

Day 2 - You definitely don't trip b/c I'm all about church

   Getting my soul fed and nursed

Day 3 - A work day -  its all about you

   Filling in for  the boss  for week 2

Day 4 - You might start to wonder why

   You haven't heard from me - you can't lie

You send a text but get no response

You're watching the clock - you weren't prepared for this nuance

Day 5 - And you still haven't heard back

   Your  mind is under attack WTF you wonder

You may call - perhaps  leave a voice mail

B/c we're at the point I surely cannot tell the tale

Of what you might do...say….

Do you wonder if I went away?

Don't worry, I'll circle back around when I think you've found

The hell I go through

When you make me fall for you

And leave

To another life - another you

Dad, provider & perfect lover too

Day 6 - I'm still dancing to my own rhythm, my own drum

Day 7 - Still no contact - you feelin' a bit undone? Where the hell am I coming from?

Go ahead and reminisce - Of our first dinner and that first kiss

Think back and forth and wonder what went wrong

Your life feeling like an Elvis song…

Did my baby leave me - a new place to dwell?

This b*tch better not be with another man in a hotel

Day 8 - Do you break your own rule and connect?  I don't know…But I suspect

That while I'm trying to do you

And master the lesson like so few 

You might take it as a clue

That I don't have love for you

But that would be, could be far from true

Cause no one does me like you…daddy

I just needed to see -  the strength within me.

And you needed to feel

If this sh*t is real

Or if you need to kill…it

I know this may be a bad time

This may feel a bit unkind

After all I help you unwind

That's when you find the time…

Here take this dime

And call me

But know I won't answer

It's not a game luv - in all candor

Its just me doing you

Don't be annoyed daddy- don't be mad

Just wanted you to see that this b*tch is bad.

But what if he doesn't call all week?

The game plan stays the same -just need a tweak

Like the Kubiak playbook when Manning was the look

I'll do my best to patch up the leak

Look to my defense to make some gains

To keep me sane

Praying your love won't wane

Wishing I was Pillowtalk and you were my Zayn

Damn daddy - if this works and we remain?

You'll want to change my name