Whimsical_1

Crisis

They say I'm selfless

But 

I feel so damn helpless 

Struggling to swim in a sea with countless 

Ever so vast, expanding, boundless 

Terror and fear, my screams are soundless 

Dreaming of days when blue sky's are cloudless 

***

Rain pours on, I have no prowess

I trudge alone, my pain is bowelless 

The sky turns black, I stand there shroudless

My beaten soul, shakes and cowers 

I smile and take it, bleeding and fightless 

My eyes are blind, I'm wandering sightless 

The abuse is normal, I'm weak and prideless 

It is never ending, constant, tideless 

***

The sun will shine the day I'm lifeless 

I'm stuck living, an eternal crisis 

My brain is full, breached and dreamless 

Every threat made, superior and seamless 

***

My lungs are punctured, heaving and breathless

The time is now, I'm ready to end this 

Comments4

  • Augustus

    I am no expert, but you poem reads effortlessly and beautifully. The message is clear that outwardly you appear o.k., but inside you are in overwhelmed with turmoil and depressed. I love "my beaten soul shakes and cowers."

    • Whimsical_1

      Thank you so much for your words. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me how what you get from this and how it reads. It really means a lot to have people just willing to read some of my work and write a quick response

      • Augustus

        I know exactly what you mean.

      • WriteBeLight

        In review of this piece, I feel what you are going through, alone and stuck in a situation of which you have no power over. I like that you got right to the point. Excellent!

        • Whimsical_1

          Thank you so much for your review. It intrigues me to know what others get from my words

        • BRIAN & ANGELA

          THANKS WHIM ~ for a very elegantly written poem pulsating with rhythm and very clever rhyme ! The contents however is less sparkling ! The poem describes a downward descent for helpless.to breathles and finally "The time is now ~ I'm ready to end this" Hope your depression stops short at that. I've had a busy week ~ but it's now FRIDAY (5pm and i'm home) so the cloud has lifted ! LET THE WEEKEND BEGIN ! (Hope that lifts you up !) Yours BRIAN

          • Whimsical_1

            Thanks Brian for your kind words. Writhing is just a way for me to express feeling I really appreciate you taking the time to comment, have an absolutely wonderful weekend!

          • vanabba3

            Wow! and I thought I wrote about the darkness... You have this character, (hopefully not you) in such a trapped downward spiral from everything and everyone around him, I can actually feel the pain as I read...

            • Whimsical_1

              Haha, yes, when I write poems I tend to write them on the darker side. I'm really happy that you could feel and possibly even empathize with the hypothetical character created. I try to connect and touch my readers on a deeper level than just words, as I'm sure you do as well. Thank you so much for the feedback!



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