Slip and Fall

When I fall in love, 

It isn't slowly and gently, 

Like waves crashing into the shore. 

I fall like tripping on the top step

Of a flight of concrete stairs. 

Bloody scrapes and broken bones.

The first time I saw you, 

It was like there was no air in the room

And a vice grip on my heart. 

Holding your hand

Was the best part of my day, 

Even though you yanked it away

And I stumbled and fell to the ground. 

Kissing you, 

Made me forget who I was

But made me feel like a part

Of a bigger something, the universe, maybe?

And forget what you really looked like

Across a more impartial distance

Where I would be able 

To tell it wasn't a smile, it was a smirk

I didn't hear you

Because I was too busy drawing hearts

With our names in them

And pretending things were okay

I didn't read between the lines 

All I heard was that maybe you could love me

Someday

Somehow

Maybe if I was thinner, prettier, better

I didn't catch that you didn't love me now

As is

I never get why

I am so shocked when it all comes falling down

All around me like snow

Not the first fall, 

More like that endless storm in February

Slushy, icy, cold and wet

That chills you to the bone

When I fall out of love

It's quick, like trying to hold a sheet of paper

When it's already ashes

And there's a strong wind blowing. 

Maybe my intensity is all wrong...