Who am I?

Sometimes I feel myself dying inside…

In the dark, crippled by emotions, hate, anxiety, weary?

The sea of thought becomes deeper as a navigate my way out.

And I get lost and give up, until…

 

I find myself and understand it all, and the dark clouds break open

And the sun shines upon me in mystical ways and I am alive….

 

But once again, I find myself looking in from the outside.

I am a stranger to my own senses, I am the ghost hiding in my own shadow,

I am the distorted reflection of my own image, until…

 

I see so clearly the vision of who I am, and who I have become

And what I want to be. I am complex but free ….

 

But once again, it’s gone.

Lost in the tangled web of reality and imagination.

I dare say I am delusional and functional?

by all senses of the word I wake up every day

and participate like every other person I see

and I become like them without ever knowing who I am until….

 

I define myself with certainty and assurance, miles ahead the race

Head above the crowd, restless and powerful….

 

And once again, I am confused by what I understand

and what I think I understand  

and I glaze over people and life. it is unreal.

Nothing really exists because I don’t see myself until…

 

 I hear a voice that tells me what I am or who I am and I understand…

 

And once again… who am I?

Sometimes I feel myself dying inside…